Tears Of London

The Zone

ERIN

I don't feel anything. I don't feel a fucking thing.
It was the first time it was happening to me. It was mentally painful, to feel nothing while I was fucking.
What's happening to me ? Am I broke or something ?
The browned-haired-girl seems to notice it. To notice my fear. But she kept moving her pelvis, on all fours in front of me.
She was pretty good at it.
So why am I not in it ?
Then, the dreaded moment came, and I lost my hard-on. It was not so embarrassing. Actually, it was more frustrating than awkward.
But before the girl noticed it, I tried to keep my cool and said laughing, to hide my confusion :
- I have many other ways to give you what you asked for.
On these words, I helped her climbing the bed, spreading her thighs, and I approached. She was now smiling anew, like a satisfied kid.
Forget my last sentence, that shit was cringe.
I didn't want her to be disappointed. Or to feel bad. So I promised myself I would act as if I was having the time of my life. To the point that I should receive a Caesar for this.
- I'm yours, she said, before I brought my lips to her pussy.
I was like a statue, a robot, with no emotion. But then, when I closed my eyes, I could finally feel something. I couldn't explain why, because that girl wasn't ugly at all. She was my type, actually.
Maybe I'm finally not in the mood for it.
But the real problem came after, when I started to imagine Jo instead of her. To feel the rush, imagining what she would look like in that moment. What she would sound and feel like.
It was a problem, as I started to feel something anew, suddenly. However, that idea didn't please me.
Jo isn't here. It's weird to think about her in such a moment.
But I couldn't help imagine her face, her expressions, her hair, her eyes, her body instead of this girl's. She would look like an angel.
She wouldn't be just fucking with me. I wouldn't be just a sexual object to her. She would like me, too.
- It's coming, she said. Come, I wanna end it with you in me.
I obeyed.
But before, I closed my eyes and everything felt better.