Tears Of London

First time

JO

We ate at a Chinese restaurant not far from the Tower Bridge. It was relaxing, sharing with Alex. That's it, he is so relaxing.
After sharing the bill - as I insisted to pay my part of the meal - we walked slowly by the quay. My hair is floating in the wind, the breeze is painful but gentle at the same time. But something is bothering me, deep in me. I don't know exactly what.
We pass by a crowded street, full of noises. Loud music and screams are elevating from it.
- What is it ? I wonder.
- The E1.
I stop walking to look at him in the face.
- The what ?
- The E1 club. You've never been there ?
- No...
- That's my favourite night club in London.
- I've never heard about it, I admit by looking at the vigils.
People are leaving while some are forming a queue to come in.
- It's on the way, I can take you there if you want to.

*

After ten minutes waiting in the queue, we finally came in. This place is a parallel world : as I enter the main hall, I am blinded by the blue rays of light, which illuminate the room as they move. The air is opaque as the machines produce smoke, giving the place an artificial smell. I let Alex leading me through the crowd, holding my hand. At multiple times, I close my eyes to avoid having them poked out by the frenetic movements of the crowd.
After a long and laborious progress through the mob, I can finally see the stage, where the music comes from.
I freeze a moment, not sure of what I'm seeing.
Erin is there, standing on the stage with confidence. He is wearing a black puffy jacket, with a long trellis  and shiny diamond earrings, contrasting with the dark of his skin. I never noticed he had his ears pierced.
He doesn't see me. He must not, with the blinding lights running through the club as a new music starts.
After having a sip in his bottle of water, Erin takes back his microphone in his left hand.
- E1, you missed me, he says with a deep voice I don't know him.
The crowd gets crazy, yelling happily to him.
- Now, we'll get a little sexy, alright ?
Screams. Applauds. Laughs.
The melody is already playing behind him, waiting for his voice to join it.
- I know you love that one, he declares before singing the first chorus.

"When I got on stage, she swore I was six feet tall
But when she put it in her mouth
She can't seem to reach my..."

Alex takes my second hand and makes me turn. I feel dizzy, as if I should not be here. Or do that.

"Ballin' ain't an issue for me
I'll make a hundred stacks right back next week
Do it all again, l'm faded off the wrong thing, the wrong thing
And I'll admit, baby, l'm a little camera-shy..."

While dancing with Alex, I see over his shoulder that Erin noticed me. Finally. I give him a smile.
Wait ? What the fuck am I doing ?
I should enjoy the moment with Alex.
Erin doesn't give me back my smile. Looks like he took that smile as a provocation.
Anyway, I should not care. All I should see is Alex. But even with my eyes closed, I can't stop seeing him everywhere. He is everywhere I look at. I feel mad.

"[...]
Cause the only thing you're takin'
Is your clothes off
Go 'head, girl, strip it down, close your mouth
I just wanna hear your body talk"

I take a deep breath and press sensually my hips against Alex's.

"Nothing is going to change my love for you
[...]
Don't hold back, let it out..."