Tears Of London

Dying

ERIN

She was staying quiet for too long. That was smelling bad. Really bad.
It couldn't be what I was thinking of, she couldn't be that sad. Feeling that bad.
Not her. Not my angel.
- What did you mean ? I repeated, as she didn't answer.
She was staring at her window, so I couldn't see her face expressions.
I couldn't hide the fact I was worry. I was sounding angry, when I think about it.
I can't believe she even thought about it.
- Jo, answer me or I'll stop the car, I threatened her.
- Wh...at ? No...
- I swear I'm gonna do it.
- No, Erin, don't, it's not a big deal.
- Jo, tell me.
- No, I'm telling you it's okay...
I abruptly parked the car on the sidewalk, what startled her.
- What the f... are you crazy ? she exclaimed, hands on the bumper.
- Tell me what's going on.
- Nothing is going on, I told you. You're being annoying.
- I don't believe you, Josephine, eyes in the eyes.
Hers were wet, but she was now angrier than sad.
She was frowning, looking at me.
- I can clearly see that something is going on, I added, more relaxed. But it's okay, you don't need to tell me what. I got it.
I was trying hard to calm my nerves. Getting angry would never change a thing.
She didn't do it.
She stayed silent, looking guilty.
- I'm a mess, she whispered very low.
I looked at her with compassion.
- Me too.
We stayed in the dark of the car compartment many minutes, quiet, looking at each other with any special emotion.
She wanted to kill herself. She thought about it, and I still can't figure it out.
After a while, I asked :
- What stopped you from doing it ?
She lay down on the car sit.
- I saw you.