Tears Of London

Apologies

JO

The next morning, Peter avoided me. He is still angry, for some reason, and it makes me sad. But I prefer to ignore him.
Mom was mad at me as well. Probably since our last argument.
For all of this, I decide to get out of this horror house. I can't deal with tension. I hate when things become sensitive.
So, I go to work. That's a good place to go when I'm bored.
I see my cashier Colleagues I don't like. I tidy up the store shelves. I clean up the floor, the windows. I do the accounting stuff, at the end of the day. And then, I go back in my apartment. Kelly didn't came that night. She's probably at the Hutt or somewhere else with Malcolm.
I just opened a can of coke when my phone rings. The name I see in it makes me put my can down.
-  Allô ?
-  Hey. I'm passing by your apartment and I was wondering if I can come to visit you.
Jared wants to see me ? After all ?
- Uh...y-yes, sure. Come when you want.
- I just arrived.
By my window, I can see his Volvo parking on the side of the street. I don't know if what is happening is good or not, but I feel like I owe him something.
-  Hi, he says when I open the door.
-  Hi.
We both head to the dinner table, and take a sit.
- Before you say anything, I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for...breaking up with you that way, I say. I would have liked it to be in another way.
-  No, don't worry, I'm not angry anymore.
His sentence makes me realise one thing. I add :
- But I also want you to notice how rude you were with me that day. 
- Pardon ?
- You almost forced me to have sex with you and then clearly gave me a « fuck you » just before leaving.
- No. That's not what I said.
- That's actually what you said.
He gets his face - that face I hated so much when we were dating. The face that means « No, I'm right and you're not, dumb ass ».
- I would never tell you that, Jo. You know I love you.
Oh, I get it. He is using manipulation, to make me fall again. I won't let him win, this time. Because it's not love, but attention that attracts me.
- Yes, that's what I thought too, but you said it. And I won't forget it.
- Are you kidding me ?!
This is it, I made it. I drove him mad, to see if he has changed. But he has clearly not. He is the same egoist man.
- You're blaming me for a tiny slur, while you were cheating on me ?
- Firstly, it wasn't just a tiny slur. Then, I never cheated on anybody. I had enough respect to tell you I have no feelings for you.
- But why now ? Tell me what made you decide to leave me only now.
I know that I shouldn't tell him because this is not his business. But can't it be a way to get him move on ?
- I fell in love, I say softly.
Jared gets up from his chair, upset.
- I am sorry. I want you to be happy.
- Bullshit ! he yelled by joining the door. I gave you everything ! I came here to apologise and that's how you treat me ?
I get up just before he leaves.
- If you're going to slam the door, as usual, I advise you to think twice, I say. I have some trigger-happy neighbours.
He closed the door furiously.