Love Or Obsession?

A sinner

Alfredo's P.O.V

Congratulations, Alfredo. You finally did it. You lost the last of your family for your revenge and you're still nowhere near avenging your family. That bastard Azrael and Sebastian ran away god knows where. My brother hates me. The girl I never wanted to hurt is broken by me. My baby will never know me, let alone acknowledge me as a father.

I was walking. The streets were empty, covered by long trees on both sides. Where was I going? I had no idea. Thousands of voices screaming in my head but I couldn't focus on anyone of them. I felt empty, hollow as if someone could pass right through me, that this body of mine is a mere vessel with absolutely nothing in it.

I looked up in the sky, the full moon shining brightly onto this dark world just like Bella, her innocence, her kindness was like illuminating like this moon and I stole her shine. Her light. Yet I ran to her upon hearing the news of her being pregnant. Aaron was right. I don't deserve to be near her or the baby. I don't have the right to act like the baby's father. But... it's my baby... I want to know... I want to know my baby... I want to be there when's he's born... or when he takes his first step... I wanna teach him how to ride a bicycle.. I want to put him on my shoulders and take him to parks... I want him to come to me when he has any problem because he knows I'll be there for him to protect him from any harm... I.. I would die for this baby... and I would die for Bella. After Aaron, only Bella could make me feel like a human again but I was so blind to realize it.

After walking a mile or so, I saw a bench on the side of the road. I sat there, resting my head against the bench. I was there for a long time before I felt a few droplets of rain hitting my face before it started pouring heavily. I stayed still as the rain drenched me from head to toe. I didn't move, I had no energy left in my body. If only this rain could wash away all my sins, it'd be nice.

.......

"Hello?", "hello sir?" , "did he faint"
Voices. People.
A strong shake on my shoulder pulled me out of my sleep. "Are you okay?" An elderly man asked me.
I rubbed my eyes, trying to accommodate to the direct sunlight falling on my eyes.

"Yes. I.. I'm ok" I replied as I stood up.
Jesus. My neck's killing me. I cracked my neck and back before I went away from there.

I went back the same apartment where I kept Bella chained. The rooms were still disheveled as it was before, reminding me of the atrocities I've committed that night. Clenching my jaw, I looked away when my eyes fell on a necklace. It was Bella's. I walked and picked it up. The necklace still had her fragrance, her warmth almost as if Bella was still here with me.

I don't understand what is this feeling? Why do I feel like my heart is ripping out every moment I spent without her. I could never "love" her. Feelings like love was far gone from my life and have no room to come anyway. Then why... why am I feeling like this? Why can't I just let her go? Is it because she's the mother of my child or... am I obsessed with her presence? I don't understand.

I clenched the necklace inside my fist as I let out a long sigh. "What're you doing to me?" I whispered under my breath.

There is nothing in this world I've ever wanted and haven't got it.

Yes I'm a criminal. I raped her. I don't deserve her or the baby but there's nothing more I want in my life than my baby which is growing inside her. I'd give up everything, my revenge just to have her and the baby with me. Even this thought is sinful but I've always been A SINNER, it wouldn't make a difference if I did one more.

Ring...
Ring...
Ring...

I checked the number before picking it up, it was from the hospital where Jasmine was admitted. "Is the girl ok??" I asked.

"Sir. She's conscious and out of danger" the doctor said. I sighed in relief as I felt a weight off my chest. The last thing I'd ever want is an innocent girl to die on me.

"Sir. The police was here to interrogate Miss Jasmine" he continued, "but she didn't mentioned you."

I felt the line on my forehead deepening with confusion. "Why didn't she?"

"I have no idea sir."

That girl puzzled me even more than I already was.

I hung the phone after replying "hmm".
I grabbed my car keys and walked out of the apartment. I needed answers.

The hospital wasn't far. It took me about 20 minutes to reach the hospital. I walked inside, finding my way to her room. My steps halted as I stood in front of the door, clenching the flower bouquet I bought for her on my way, I contemplated if I should go inside or not. Or that these flowers show that I'm in any way capable of having insignificant humanly feelings.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door slightly and saw her sleeping. I walked inside, staring at her drained out, pale face. I looked away as I felt guilt pooling inside of me, I kept the bouquet on the table and turned to leave.

"Mr. Christopher...?"

I turned around and saw Jasmine was awake. She tried to sit up, I went to her and helped her sit.

"Thanks" she said.
"Least I could do."

There was a thick silence in the room for a minute before I tried to break the tension.

"How's your health?"
"I... better.. "

The room fell in silence. Again.

"May I ask you a question?" I asked, she nodded so I continued, "Why didn't you tell the police you were kidnapped? That I'm responsible... for this."

She was silent for a moment before answering me "I'm not rich.. or powerful like you... I belong to a very normal family, Mr. Christopher. I don't have to the power to go against you....." her words sent a pang of guilt inside my guts.

"I see" that's all I could say. Apologizing can't do anything at this point.

"If you're here to apologize then don't. You and I both know that you don't deserve forgiveness" she said bitterly. "Hell, I... I can't believe that I felt bad for you, even for a second... but I can't help it." She huffed a frustrated sigh.

I couldn't believe her words. She felt bad for me? Why? I'm a monster. I don't deserve her sympathy, fck it I don't deserve anyone's.

"I feel sick that I ever felt like YOU of all people deserve a second chance at redemption" she cried, "because mistakes can be redeemed not crimes! And you deserve the WORST PUNISHMENT possible!" She yelled at me.

"Living the so called life is the biggest punishment for me already. There's nothing worse Jasmine" I smiled bitterly, "I know I could never be redeemed and now... I don't even want it. I want what is mine and that's it." I said, my jaw clenched tightly, I could feel my teeths grinding together.

"I know you're in love with Bella"

The words shocked me to my very core.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH ANYONE" I almost yelled in defense. I haven't heard such rubbish ever. I, Alfredo Christopher, cannot love her or anyone.

"You're capable of loving someone but you don't have the strength to let them go." She continued sprouting nonsense, raging me to the core.

"STOP. TALKING." I warned her.

"You're so thirsty of even a drop of happiness... that you lost the last of your sanity."

"I SAID STOP TALKING!" I kicked the chair so hard, it smashed against the wall and broke in peices.

She clenched her eyes shut, tear rolling down her face but she continued to speak.

"You don't understand... that the real happiness comes with a price. Letting her go... seeing her happy in her life is far better than trapping her in your cage." She cried, "Your love for her... would be the sacrifice you made for her, Mr. Christopher."

Her words were like knives stabbing my chest with the harsh reality I was running from. The truth I was running from is now stood in front of me as my biggest enemy and now I have the choice of either choosing the truth or running away from it until I ruin the people I love for my obsession.