Away

Thirty

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

I wake up with a start, silent but not without tears as my breaths quake. It wasn't real, just a bad dream.

mAyBe RiGhT nOw, BuT tHe fUtUrE's StIlL tO bE dEtErMiNeD.

Fuck.

I get up and go into the bathroom attached to my room. "Fucking shit." I mumble. Tonight of all nights. I'm just glad it wasn't yesterday; I wouldn't have as much mental control as I do now.

But-

mUrDdEr Is StIlL mUrDdEr.

bLoOd FoR bLoOd.

One, two, ten, twenty, about forty or so crimson, horizontal lines show on the inside of my left arm and more red coming from them. Damnit!

yOu DoN't DeSeRvE tO bE cAlLeD a ToDoRoKi.

Fuck, I sit down on the ground against the wall in front of the sink next to the open door, hands on my forehead "Maybe I should, to save them from the disappointment." I whisper to myself. It'll also save me from disappointing them any further too, one last hoorah I guess.

I make a blade-like shape with my ice, weighing it in my hand. "Any objections?" I ask aloud, softly. Not like there's anyone here to see or even hear.

"Seppuku it is."

Traditionally it would be with a tantō, but maybe the action will bring a little bit of honor back to my family.

I sit myself on my knees, straightening my back, taking one last deep breath, closing my eyes as I put the tip on the left side of my abdomen just above my hip.

"Sayonara."

Thwack! thunk!

I open my eyes, surprisingly, with my hands pinned above my head against the wall.

"Don't-" an out of breath Hawks on his knees in the doorway in his hero costume.

"Hawks- but how?" I ask, feeling the chunk of ice melt.

"I had a feeling, to put a feather in your pocket after Toya's call with Giran." he heard me "Thank God I did."

"you shouldn't have." I tell him faintly "i'm not worth it. i've already caused enough of a burden on everyone as is." I bite the inside of my cheek, why would anyone care?

Damnit Azula, you're being weak. You are weak.

"Azula," he comes and sits down beside me "you're not a burden. Not to anyone."

I feel one of his wings extend behind me then wrap around as my hands drop to wrap around Takami and bury my face in his shirt to start crying.

"It's okay, everything will be okay." he whispers, rubbing my back "I got you, kiddo."

—

I woke up a little warmer than normal, must've started using my right side in my sleep. I sit up, rubbing my eyes a little before noticing Hawks' work jacket over my shoulders. Huh? Oh. I saw my wrapped arm, so that part wasn't a dream. Honestly wished it was one, just a bit, save me some shame. I can ask Toya to return it if he is still here.

I get up out of my bed, grabbing my phone, only for it to have a note on it:

Call or text me if you ever just want to talk.

-Keigo

Followed by his number, well a little better than him eavesdropping on me. I'll probably send a text later so that he has my number.

I go into the bathroom to wash my face before putting my makeup on then my clean and dry wig, leaving the coat folded on my bed, before heading down stairs to see if Dabi or Hawks put my food in the fridge since it's not where I had left it.

"Morning." I greet Mags, Compress, Toga and Twice who have all gathered in the kitchen.

"Good Morning, Your Majesty. I'm glad to see that you made it home safely." Mr. Compress remarks with a tip of his hat as he drinks his coffee.

I give a nod, not trusting myself to say anything else as I go to the fridge. Good it's in here with a note claiming it as mine. "You're lucky." Toga giggles "Dabi would've eaten it if it wasn't for the note."

"Glad he didn't, I was looking forward to it this morning." I tell her in a monotone as I grab my chopsticks to sit at the table and eat.

It tastes like sawdust, probably just a me thing. I'll still eat it though, I'm not going to waste it.

The others continue their conversation with me silent and not paying attention. Not something that I need to input on. Until,

"Oh! Did anyone hear that thunk last night?" Toga ask, shit.

"I dropped my phone, sorry Toga." I apologize to her.

"No worries! I kinda thought someone broke in, shame it wasn't I'd love to have their blood." Hawks you are one lucky bird.

"As long as you keep it in the basement." I shrug, going back to my zoning out till my container is all empty.

I clean my dishes, putting them on the drying rack before going upstairs to take care of my homework.