NUR DIE SGE

A la Vida, A la Muerte, Por la Eternidad (David/Hinti)

A la Vida, A la Muerte, Por la Eternidad

It's over. It's like that and it's his choice. David takes a long breath to fight back his tears. Now he stops and starts again far away, at home, looking after Alfonso and helping his mother. That's how it should have been anyway, if the football hadn't embraced him and taken him so far, so far away from home. Chabas has never been so close to him, and yet so far . David doesn't know if he really wants to come back, because he won't be leaving anymore, or not for a long time. He will only return to Frankfurt occasionally. He no longer lives there, despite the neighborhood he has come to know, despite the stadium and the training ground. David no longer has a red armband around his arm, no more black jersey, no more nineteen on his back. He can leave his cleats in the locker room, whether it's for Evan or Tuta. Lord, they already have grown so much...

But he must not turn around. No, he has to stay strong no matter the pain and sadness that ravages his heart. No tears before Argentina. No matter how weak he feels, he needs to remain lucid, aware of his surroundings, not to let his mask of happiness melt away under what he really feels. The start is bittersweet, but he already knew it. He stayed longer than expected, but that was okay. He was able to do whatever he wanted for a few more months, it had to end someday, and a win is always a good time to go. He would have liked so much to have supporters in the stands, so that he could thank them all, not just through social media. He has to stay strong. A long exhalation to calm the palpitation.

David had to say goodbye during practice. It's weird to walk on grass without cleats, but one of these days it will be normal. One last word, one last hug, a hand in his hair and a joke, and they are no longer his teammates. His friends, yes. His teammates, not anymore. No, he won't cry in front of them, not like the day before. Not like in the locker room, in the rain of arms hugging him, not like in the shower messing with him one last time, not like in the parking lot, his guys finding him despite all the moments together to make him cry again. He has cried enough yet, his eyes aren't so red anymore, but they still hurt. One last time, without looking back, and he's no longer part of the club. He is no longer a captain, no longer a player.

And yet there is Hinti with him at the airport. He waits for his plane with him, his hand not letting go of his, as they both know the separation will come sooner than they think. David doesn't want to stop staring at his blue eyes, and Martin doesn't want to let go of his. David wants to whisper to him to come with him, but he knows it can't be done. They still have years ahead of them before they can live together, without football, without an armband. To ask him to come to Argentina would be depriving him of everything Hinti could have offered him the day before, and that's not even a possibility. David must leave Martin behind so that he doesn't give up for him. He knows Martin wants to ask him to stay, but he won't, his promise to Alfonso won't be broken. He's coming home, alone.

Martin's lips on his are breaking the words he wanted to say to make amends for his future long absence. The kiss is unhappy, between his tears and their salty taste, and the blood in their mouths, from the number of times they've kissed during the night. One last time, and there will be nothing more.

He lets go of Martin's hand, struggling not to turn around, making his way to the boarding dock, his heart crying as much as he does. He would give anything to stay, but he cannot and must not.

Adiós, mi amor...