NUR DIE SGE

Parting is such sweet sorrow (Marco Russ)

Parting is such a sweet sorrow

So, Marco is retired. It's his own decision, he's known it since the start of the season, but it's like it was just announced to him. Marco is retired and he doesn't know what he's going to do because he doesn't feel like he's been able to enjoy his career, and yet staying mostly in Frankfurt was the choice of his life. His cancer didn't help him enjoy his club. They're playing against Paderborn as the last game of the season, and while Jonathan has also just announced that he will be leaving the club soon after, Marco feels totally lost, his injury has just recovered, and he announces his retirement. He can't go one more season, he has to go home now, and let the kids do his job. He has seen a lot over the years, and since he came back to Frankfurt, he has only been able to live to the fullest, especially after recovering from cancer. So even if he has remorse, he has no regrets. He went through everything he had to live.

And even on the bench, watching his teammates play, Marco doesn't regret anything, because he has had his day, because winning the Pokal in 2018 will always be something to be remembered, and if we remember them, then we will remember him. He doesn't need much more to give Martin the future, because he knows that sooner or later David and Makoto will join him. Jan comes to sit next to him on the bench, they are the two old memories of another time, and he doesn't know if it's a good thing. Only Alex is missing to complete the line-up, but Alex will be here soon, coming back to Frankfurt to take care of the youngsters. Jan takes care of the keepers now. Marco has to see if he wants to do something with the time he has left in Frankfurt, he can stay and keep his family close, or discover other places. There is no wrong path, it will be according to his expectations, his desires. Marco will continue to watch his favorite idiots, he will be just a little further.

He tried to pretend that he wasn't in good shape to not go to the little party organized by his (now former) teammates, but suddenly he forgot that he was trying to negotiate with party people. The point is, Marco isn't comfortable with the idea of celebrating his departure, it seems out of place to him without really being, but he doesn't say anything as he put on a suit before letting himself be carried away by the rhythm of the youngest. He shouldn't remember the semifinals penalty shootout against Gladbach, he shouldn't remember Mijat's last-minute goal, he shouldn't remember Alex's goal in less than thirty seconds, but it all comes back to him without asking. Like a realization that his retirement isn't what he really wants, but it's too late. Marco bites the inside of his mouth, he doesn't know what to say to his friends to make them understand that he doesn't want to leave them, that he doesn't want to leave like that. Maybe his eyes are stinging him because of the tears that are born there, but he will only blame fatigue while waiting for a solution to banish all sadness. The problem remains that Jan isn't blind, and is even the one who knows him best in the room with Timmy, already busy with Gonçalo.

Jan has known him since they were teenagers, so obviously trying to hide things from him is a waste of time, the former keeper knows him. He knows him too well for what he's trying to show. Jan was the first to really understand for his cancer, after his tumor it was normal for him to understand, but it was as if the blond was in his head, as if he had always known what was going on there. So avoid him tonight, Marco knew it was impossible (it could have been easier if Lukas had been there obviously). And yet, Marco lets him take him in his arms, Marco lets him feel his tears in the corner of his neck, Marco lets him see his weaknesses, because tonight is their last night as teammates. Tomorrow they will be Jan and Marco, longtime friends. Tomorrow, they won't be players ever again.

The End