Nathaniel
The banging from downstairs was what woke me. The urgent slamming on the door only grew louder the longer it went on.
I pulled myself up, only to notice Evie lying beside me, still half asleep.
Last night clearly hadn't been a fucking dream.
But i'd deal with that later.
"what the fuck is that noise?" she yawned and began to sit up.
"someone's at the door" I hop around trying to pull clothes on as fast as possible.
"stay here okay?" I glanced at her before leaving the room.
She gave me a nod before falling back down again.
I ran down the stairs, trying my best not to fall down them.
All the shades had been shut so I couldn't even see out to get a glimpse at who it was trying to get through the fucking door.
I unlocked the door, only to have it pushed open by the person on the other side.
I froze when I saw him.
"Xander what the fuck" the words didn't come out properly at all, it was more a jumble of sounds.
He stood there, looking like he'd survived some sort of apocalyptic event.
"he's dead" were the only words he uttered before breaking down to the floor.
"Alex who?" I grab him as he began to cry.
I hadn't seen my brother cry in years. The last time he allowed himself to was the day of our mothers funeral. Since then it's seemed like he's turned a switch off or something.
I barely saw him smile anymore.
"dad" he managed to say through sobs, "dad's dead"
"w-what?" I stumble back, letting us both hit the ground.
"I went home to talk to him this morning but there was so fucking many of them Nate" he looked at me, his dark eyes all bloodshot "I couldn't stop them i'm so sorry"
"why are you sorry?" I wrapped my arms around him, "you're alive... that's all that matters now"
"I-I watched it happen but I froze - I never freeze" his cries physically hurt me.
He was 17 years old and this was the second parent he'd watched die.
He was behind my mother when she was shot.
... she'd been answering the front door.
"Alex, it isn't your fault"
He continued to sob and I sat there with him feeling absolutely numb.
I hadn't had the best relationship with my father in a very long time.
Loosing my mother destroyed him.
Our relationship was already rocky before she died but when she did die, he basically went with her.
He was never the same.
Any sort of love he had for me disappeared into nothing. He'd never get physical but he'd yell for hours, angry at the world and angry at me.
Nothing I could do would ever please him.
However Xander never saw that side of him, not once. My father would be having another go then my brother would walk in and it was like a switch was flipped. He became the person I used to know. In his eyes, Xander could do no wrong.
I love Xander, so I didn't mind being the one to take the hit but it didn't make it any easier watching my dad be a father to him and a boss to me.
Although I hated admitting it to myself, a part of me was relieved. I no longer have to face his permanent disappointment or his punishments. It was over.
I wasn't happy or sad about any of it, more shocked than anything.
About 10 minutes later, Jax, Chris and Grey walked in. They're sorrow filled faces were something i'd seen too much of recently.
I'd managed to get Xander to a couch. He sat there staring blankly into the space around him.
"what do we do now?" Grey whispered across at me.
"I don't- I don't know" I leant back into the chair. I was desperately trying to make sense of things but everything was so fucked up right now.
I hadn't prepared for my dad dying... it wasn't even a thought I cared to have yet.
I'm 20 years old, I shouldn't have to be worrying about all this.
"we should probably go and lock all the warehouses down as well as the offices" Xander muttered, "we don't need people trying to steal from us right now"
"We can deal with that" Jax nodded. He was unnervingly calm right now.
"I can start looking through all the paper work dad left, one of us needs to make sure everything's now in your name" Xander patted my shoulder as he stood up.
He seemed somewhat emotionless again.
It looked like his completely understandable breakdown was already behind him.
"i'll help with that" Christian stood up, "I can't do much else"
I gave him a lazy smile in response, "you'll handle this Nate, you always do"
He walked out after Xander, leaving me alone in the living room.
He was suppose to call me back this morning...
My head fell to my hands as the reality of everything hit. My dad was actually dead. This wasn't some sick sort of lesson he was trying to pull, this was actually it.
I could hear light foots steps treading down the stairs behind me.
I don't know how much she'd heard or what she knew and quite frankly I wasn't ready to start answering her abundance of questions.
I remained still, hoping she'd do her normal thing and pass me by but she didn't.
She was quiet as she made her way towards me. You probably wouldn't have been able to hear her if the room hadn't been deathly silent.
She didn't say anything as she sat beside me. She just sat there content with the lack of words being shared between us.
I don't know how long we'd sat there, maybe 20 minutes before she decided to finally say something.
"I overheard... so I tried to call my father" she muttered
I turned around to look at her, wondering why she felt now was the right time to bring this topic up. One which had already caused numerous arguments.
"He didn't answer, but Harrison phoned me back a few minutes later" she ignored my visual confusion and continued on.
"I asked why he didn't pick up" she laughed to her self softly, tears forming in her eyes, "he always picks up the phone, you know that"
"I do" I replied quietly
"Harrison didn't even try to sugarcoat it, he just straight up said it... it sounded so rehearsed, like he'd been practicing saying it to me" her eyes flickered around the room. She couldn't even look at me.
"turns out he's dead too" her voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper.
I could physically feel the world around me stop. I didn't think it could have gotten any worse but somehow it had.
My first mistake was turning away from her again.
I couldn't see the expression on my face but I knew it wasn't a good one.
She fell deeper into the seat beside me, finally letting her emotions consume her as she began to cry quietly.
I sat there and remained silent.
I had no words to say.
No words of comfort.
Absolutely nothing.
"i'm sorry" she managed to say through her cries
"what? why are you sorry?"
"because it all on you now"
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Romance*currently editing** "I turned around to see Nathan, he was already looking at me with the biggest smile on his face. His hair was already covered in snow flakes. "and I didn't think it was possible to love you anymore than I already did" he gave...
