Chapter 19

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Nathaniel

"she's my wife Jessica... not a fucking slut" I snap, pulling her back from Evangeline who looked disgusted in the corner.

"wife?" she yelled, "you're kidding me Nate, i've only been gone what..." she began calculating in her head.

"2 years" I glared, "we've been over for two fucking years"

"we never broke up"

here come the water works.

"you leaving in the middle of the night was enough for me Jess, now what the hell are you doing here?" I sigh, pushing her towards the door, "was Europe not fulfilling you anymore?"

"Nate please don't act like this" she grabbed on to me, "I want you, I love you"

"let go of me" I shook her off

"you're really picking that bitch over me?"
Her hostility towards Evie angered me, she didn't even know her yet she was treating her like that. How was I with such a thing for 2 and a half years.

"yes" I replied bluntly

"after all i've done for you?" she clung on to me and began sobbing, "I was there for you when you needed me, now that I need you, you're going to leave me out in the cold"

"it's actually quite warm out there, you'll be fine" I finally pulled away from her grip

"I thought our relationship was stronger than this Nate, I need you right now, neither of my parents can look at me" she sniffed

"our relationship? we don't have one" I shook my head, "now please go Jessica" I tried closing the door on her.

"no wait please, we can still be friends Nate, we've known each other since high school, please help me"

I'd never seen desperation quite like it, it was sad, like really sad.

"Nathan" Evie's voice was quiet behind me.
She nodded towards the kitchen and headed in there.
"don't you fucking move" I glare at Jessica before following Evie.

"just let her sleep on the couch and we can kick her out tomorrow" she sighed, looking tired.

"she won't fucking leave if we do that" I reply,
I know that girl well enough to know she's a manipulative bitch.

"she will" she replied bluntly as she started cleaning the mess we'd left in the kitchen.
"just let her stay on the couch tonight, we'll deal with it when it's not 3:30 in the morning"

"you're too nice" I kiss the top of her head

"I do try" she smiled

I walked back out to see Jessica sitting of the floor like the child she was. She stood up once she saw me, a gleam of hope in her eyes.

"you can stay on the couch but you're out in the morning" I snap

"thank you Nate" she replied

"Nathaniel" I corrected her, "only my friends call me Nate"

I headed up stairs to find Evie already back in my room, washing off the the rest of the flour.
I just sat and watched her.
I could watch her for hours, everything about her was simply perfect.

I want to kiss all over her but there's always a small part of me that stops myself. I'm terrified that if I let her in fully, i'll only loose her.
I can't loose her.
I can't imagine it, nor do I want to.

Trusting people, caring for people only brought around a vulnerability.
One that I really can't afford right now. It's too much of a risk.
She's too much of a risk.

"who is she?" she glanced over at me.

"an ex from high school" I replied quickly

"what happened?" I couldn't help but notice the resentment in her eyes.

"she left with some friend, I don't even remember who now, I never saw her again" I shrugged

"she never contacted you to tell you she was alright?" she walked in and sat beside me with the damp cloth still in her hand.

"nope" I shake my head, "she told nobody, not even her parents, it took weeks to find out where she was"

"which was Europe - all of it?" she started wiping the cloth over my face

"last time I checked she was hopping from one country to another"

"did you love her?"
Her question took me off guard

"...no, her leaving was a blessing in disguise"

She seemed unrelieved at my response.
"I don't love her sunshine, I don't even like her" I laugh softly, pulling her hair out of her face.

"alright then" she sighed whilst crawling back under the sheets, "I was beginning to believe I was going to have unleash Mila on her" she giggled to herself

"probably wouldn't be best in Mila's situation right now" I lay down beside her.
She instantly turned over to face me.

"you know?" she gasped

"of course I know, I know everything" I reply

"did Christian tell you?" She sat up

"no he didn't and will you lie back down" I pull her down again, "i'm fucking tired"

"clearly I don't give you enough credit," she whispered, "and I don't care if you're tired, how did you find out?"

"I just know," I shrugged,

"I refuse to believe you just know, who told you?" she nudged me

"I just know" I repeated as I nudged her back

"has Christian seriously not told you?" she questioned.

"no" I shake my head

"doesn't that annoy you?"

"he'll tell me when he's ready to, until then I have to pretend i'm clueless"

"wow" she sighed, "I couldn't live like that"

"I know" I laugh, "but please close your eyes, you need to sleep"

"I don't know how I can sleep now" she muttered whilst shuffling around beside me

"by closing you're eyes and counting to 20"

"that never works"

"yes it does"

yes it did.

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