Are you okay?

Chapter 16

small TW
Nathaniel

"I guess we'll be there" I sighed, barely able to hold my phone in my hands.
The watch on my arm kept ticking as the conversation continued. I watched it hit 2:30 and now I was about to watch it hit 3:00.

"I think it'll be good for the both of you" I could almost see Mr Petrov's smile through the phone

"i'll have to take your word for it" I laughed nervously.

I'd been trying to put off going to these type of events for a while. Usually it was my father who would go so I wouldn't have to worry about them because both of us certainly didn't need to be there. But now he can't go so I have to.

I'd already declined this one on the aspect that neither Evie or I wanted to walk around and talk about our dead parents for the night but Mr Petrov himself called me up and he was incredibly hard to say no to.

Speaking of Evangeline, I hadn't seen her in a few hours which leads me to believe she'd gone to sleep already. I forced away the disappointment that crept up on me, knowing i'd have to crawl into my bed alone tonight.

I don't know what to do about her. I can't pursue her even though every part of me wants to. I know us actually being together would only make the original agreement messy.
The marriage was a business deal, it couldn't be anything more.

Letting myself fall deeper and deeper into her everyday was already causing problems.
I could barely fucking function without her near me.
I was struggling right now to barely hold this conversation because I was so concerned on where she was and what's she's doing.
I don't know what it's been about her from day one but it's like i'm fucking drawn to her. It was easier at the start to ignore because they're was a level of mistrust and anger between us. We blamed each other for the shitty situation our parents had willingly put us in and that tension caused argument after argument. I was able to hide behind them, but as that mistrust and anger has slowly faded away, it's left nothing but confusion between us.
I can't hide what I feel for her behind those now nonexistent arguments.

It's hard to ignore someone when they are the literal physical embodiment of sunshine.
Every time she'd enter a room, she wouldn't have to speak but the atmosphere instantly lifts. She seems to have a positive effect on everyone.

"well I can hear you're tired Nathaniel, so i'll let you go now but I'll be glad to see you next week" Mr Petrov's voice brought me out of my thoughts.

"alright, we'll see you then" I said before throwing the phone into my desk drawer and locking it shut. I couldn't deal with anything else tonight.

I pulled myself up off the chair and that's when it truly hit how tired I felt. I was struggling to even keep my eyes fucking open as I headed for the door.
I looked down the hallways to see Evie's room in darkness, leading me to confirm she must already be asleep.

I grabbed onto the bannister, leaning basically my whole weight on it as I walked down the stairs.
Down here was also lying in darkness, which I didn't overly like. I preferred having a few lights on and actually allowing the house to look lived in.
I was too tired to even care though.
I walked into the kitchen, almost on autopilot as I poured a glass of water. I ended up with tap water which was disgusting enough in itself but taking time to actually open the refrigerator and potentially blinding myself in the light wasn't something I wanted to do right now.

I managed to get back to the living room and basically collapse onto the couch. I only needed a few minutes to check through my messages, then I would head back up stairs.

I pulled my personal phone out of my back pocket and started scrolling through the messages my brother had sent hours ago. Even he was fucking asleep right now and he was basically nocturnal.

I set my phone on the table and within what had to have been seconds, I must've fallen asleep. Like I said, I was absolutely exhausted.

I don't remember much else until I woke up again with the sun lighting the whole house up. I clearly hadn't shut the house up at all last night, I wouldn't be surprised if the front door was still unlocked knowing me.

My whole body ached as I sat up. This couch was fine to sit on but sleeping on it was another fucking story.
I stopped moving when I felt a tug on my hand. After my eyes readjusted to the light, I looked down to see Evangeline's hand entangled with mine as she lay on the floor beside me.

A wave of guilt waved over me knowing she'd probably had a worse night sleep than I had. I don't know what it was about her and her ability to sleep literally anywhere.

I didn't hesitate any longer before pulling her up beside me. She was cold to touch, but I suppose that's what happens when you sleep on the floor.

She slowly opened her eyes as a smile formed on her face. Before I could even ask, she was already answering, "I didn't want you to be lonely when you woke up"

"thank you sweet girl" I whispered, "you didn't have to do that"

She sat up but kept herself leaning against me, "why were you up so late?" she asked quietly

"time zones and insistent old friends" I laughed, "why were you up so late?"

"just couldn't sleep" she replied as she stood up and stretched.
My eyes traced her up and down. I knew she could always tell when I did it because her cheeks flushed up.
I loved having that effect on her.

"how'd you do that?" I gently rubbed my fingers along the scar on her leg. It looked like it had been a deep cut at one point.

She quickly glanced down, attempting to see what I was looking at.
"oh that" she laughed softly, "I broke my leg really badly last year, that's from the pins they had to put in"

"shit Evie" I looked up at her, "how'd you manage that?"

Her eyes narrowed as they met mine. I could tell she was thinking something over in her head. She almost seemed hesitant to answer me.
"I fell" she kind of shrugged it off.
She was pretty blunt in her answer and I could tell there was more to it but it was obvious she wasn't up for sharing anything more right now so I let it be.
She'll tell me more if she has to I imagine.

"are you hungry?" she took my hand and pulled me to a standing position.
Quickly, we switched positions and I was now looking down at her rather than up.

"we have fuck all in this house" I sighed, following her into the kitchen.

"I'll find something" she grinned, "i'm good at that"