His Doll || +18 [Not Edited]

Chapter 37

I wake up when we finally arrive back at the mansion. Memories of what happened the last time I was here come back. The image of Mateo on the floor making my eyes sting.

"Where's Mateo?" I ask Alex, finally looking at him. "He's fine." "But where is he? I saw him in that pool of blood. Is he okay?" He sighs, me asking about Mateo seems to anger him, but I don't care. "He got shot 6 times, was in a coma and woke up yesterday." His words were ringing in my head. I didn't even notice the tears that have fallen until I felt my father's rough fingers wiping them away. Atleast he's awake. That's all I care about.

"Can I see him?" He groans and ignores me. "Alex I said I want to see him." I raise my voice a little and he shoots me a glare. He gets out of the car without saying anything. "Don't mind him tesoro he's been grumpy since you got kidnapped." Mariano says breaking the silence in the car.

I fold my arms in annoyance. My dad leads me out of the car. Taking my small hand in his big one and leads me inside. I felt safe and happy around him. I felt like a toddler who was promised candy. We enter the mansion and flashbacks of the scene that I left here come back again. I squeeze my father's hand and he squeezes mine too in assurance that everything is okay.

He leads me upstairs into a different room. This one is bright. Has white walls, big ass bed with white sheets and pillows. Everything here was white. "This is your room. Freshen up and wear something warm. I'll bring your food up, and maybe. If you want, we can talk." He was little hesitant when he said the last part. Maybe he doesn't believe that I welcomed him so easily and so soon.

I'm sure he expected me to throw a tantrum. I expected the same from myself but I guess the joy of seeing him changed all that. "I would love for us to talk. We missed 21 years of talking, so we have a lot of catching up to do." I say laughing, hoping to calm him down a bit. He returns the smile, but this one is filled with sadness and regret. I go over to him and give him a hug. It takes a while for him to register what's happening before he hugs me back.

"Dad?" I say still burried in his chest. "Yes sweetheart?" He chokes the words. Must be because I called him dad. "I'm hungry." The vibration of his laugh against his chest makes me laugh too. I pull away from the hug and look at him smiling. He holds both of my cheek causing my lips to pout and he laughs and leans closer to kiss my forehead. A gesture that made me cry too. I'm crying a lot today, but I promised myself I wouldn't.

"Let me go get you something to eat than." He smiles and leaves the room. Finally alone, I look around the room, sighing. I decide to freshen up so I can get the hell out of this lingerie.

I take a long deserved bath to relax my muscles and scrubbed my body. The image of the gun in my hand. The lifeless glare of that man I shot. The one on the floor that I smashed with a vase. Alex. All of them come back and I start shaking. I did that. I hurt people. I killed someone. I left the other one unconscious and even shot Alex. I'm sure that was a bruise to his ego but he still didn't hurt me.

I hug my knees in the tub, rocking myself back and forth. Trying to tell myself that it's not my fault. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. I stay in the tub until the water is cold. I finally get out. Wrapping my body in a towel and looking myself in the mirror.

I look like shit. Red puffy eyes, bags under my eyes and dried lips. This is so not a good look. I shake my head, going back to my room and to the walk in closet. The closet is filled with fresh new clothes that are just my size. No lingerie? Okay. I take sweatpants and a sweater, some socks and a hoodie.

Going over to the dresser, I start to lotion  my body and get dressed. In a very long time, I'm in comfortable clothes. Not lingerie, not a revealing costume, but comfortable clothes. I look myself in the full body mirror and I feel like crying. I look so vulnerable and young. I shake my head, doing breathing exercises. I will not cry. Not anymore.

The sound of the knock snaps me out of my thoughts and I go over to open the door. My dad is carrying a tray filled with food and my stomach sings. We both laugh and I allow him in. Seating on top of the bed, he places the tray infront of me and I start digging in.

He doesn't say anything but watches me with that saddened smile. I smile at him with my stuffed mouth and do that little dance. You know that one you do when the food is really good and you haven't ate in a while.

"Aren't you hungry?" I ask him after swallowing. "No sweety, I've already ate." "Okay." I shrug my shoulders and continue eating. When I was finally done, I place the tray in the table next to me. Patting the space next to me for him to sit. He takes the invitation and sits next to me. I automatically place my head on his shoulder and he hooks one of his arms around me.

"I'm sure you hate me, and I don't blame you." He starts, I decide to keep quiet and just let him talk. "Your mother and I. We were so in love. I still love her even now, but I'm sure she doesn't love me anymore." He clears his throat and I could hear the hurt in his voice.

He starts telling me about how he came from Africa and that the reason he ended up was because of a job offer. He didn't know much about it but he needed the job. That's when he met my mom. Their relationship had to be a secret because of his work, it kinda reminded me of my relationship with Mariano. He tells me how unhappy my mother was about the whole thing and how it caused problems in their relationship.

They almost broke up but than they found out they were pregnant with me and that's when he knew he had to leave. "It pained me to leave you. Both of you. I knew that even if I came back, your mother would never forgive me." He sniffs, I didn't even notice he was crying.

I return the favour this time and wipe away his tears. He smiles and leans into my touch. "What was worse, was watching you grow up on the sidelines. I craved to come to you, to say hi, give you a hug. Give you a gift on your birthday. Tell you I loved you and that I didn't abandon you because I hated you, but because I loved and wanted to protect you."

"When your mother moved on, my heart was broken. I didn't blame her but I still felt jealous. Jealous that she was forgetting about me and that the love she had for me will now be given to someone else."

"She still loves you, you know." That catches his attention because he looks at me with wide eyes. "She does?" I nod my head yes. "She may have moved on but she always told me that she'll always love you. You were her first love, yes you broke her heart when you left but she still loved you." That seems to make him cry more and I hug him.

He holds me tight, not wanting to let go. We stay in each other's arms until we drift off to sleep.