My IRL Journal/Diary

Entry 20: July 15th

Whooo entry 20! Posted my previous entries so far and no one has read it. I thought for sure at least one person but guess not.

Today was calm.

I got a message back from a mutual and she told me that the dude is 24+! Ripppppppp. I was afraid she'd say that. Ofc I can technically date older but I really don't want too. I have trauma from every guy that's been older than me. K and R. He hasn't responded yet. Although something odd happened. He was completely offline(and still is before my internet shut off) for a majority of the day. Even though he said he's free-er on the weekends and despite it being Sunday (for him) (Saturday for me) he was still ironically gone. I wonder if the girl said something to him bc it did happen after the fact. Hope she knows not to mess with me. Not like I'd do anything, but it's the thought that counts. If she thinks I can be dangerous, nothing will happen on either end.

As for my day otherwise, I did the usual. Played games, watched YouTube, ate food, took a shower. I also changed my mattress cover and it feels much softer so that's nice! Ofc my pillow was changed last night I think so now it's super comfy. My parents went out for dinner and got Crumbl cookies. I had the cinnamon roll flavored one. It was actually really good. My parents then played cards downstairs and me and my bro passed. I like my alone time.

I have been telling a server I'm in(that's really just filled with like 2-3 active people, including myself) about the new dude as well as Duncan, and my ex(they knew my ex bc he used to be in the old server). The other active person besides me, is quite tired of me rambling on about guys. He said "why don't you just stop e-dating" or something like that. I was like "I was just seeing if he'd be a good fit. But now that I know he's 24+ I'm not interested and I'm 90% sure he's gay". I think he believed me. I also added "I'm also bored and a summer fling can't hurt". Besides I don't ever want to date a guy from my state. They're all f-boys, or just not my type. I tried a dating app called bumble but I couldn't find a single guy that didn't do weed and I don't want any potential guy to take any sort of thing like that. Especially not weed(although I am aware of it's medicinal purposes and I suppose I can make an exception). But those dudes on the app, you just KNOW that they did it recreationally rather than helping improve their mental health or back pain or what have you.

As for how I'll spend my night, I will read more snape fanfic. It's become a habit now, to read them. I've pretty much ran out of irl diaries such as this to read on Wattpad. There might be some on AO3 but considering how hard it was to find a single crush x reader, I'm not hopeful. Perhaps I'll ask my friend when we hang out on Tuesday. She uses AO3 all the time and might know some hints and tricks.

Oh also, I've given up on trying to motivate myself to dm him. I feel even less motivated now that I know he's out of my age range but he could still be a good guy friend. Still need to figure out if he's gay or not.

Update: 3:08am: Ummmm this fanfic which is actually really good......has Lucius malfoy as a pedo......yikesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Luckily the main character helped save her, sigh.

4:52am: What the heck! Hermione just kissed the mc! This author is obsessed with kissing 0.0

6:16am update: His YT has 97 at the end making him 25 or 26. Rippppppp. I doubt that's just a number he had to put bc of usernames on YouTube being taken. It makes sense based on previous knowledge.