My IRL Journal/Diary

Entry 42: Aug 6th

I got friend zoned today. I woke up at like 7am and saw that S had messaged me. It was casual and chill, nothing serious. I woke up at like 12:30pm ish and saw that there were now 9 messages. M had said that she was gonna message S. And message him she did. I am still so furious. How could she?!!! I wasn't planning on telling S I liked him for at least a year! And she just had to get rid of all my hard work.

I sort of want to rant to S on call, words/texts can't my frustrations enough! Anyways, he friendzoned me. Said that I'm still very young, I live in the USA, he's not into me, and he doesn't want an online relationship. I knew he would say that! That's why I didn't say anything! That's why I wasn't planning to for awhile! I want to cry but I can't atm. I'm not upset enough. I'm hanging out with Ra tomorrow, I can't wait to tell her all about this. Wonder what she'll say.

S said that nothing will change between us though. I'm lucky that he's nice and mature enough to continue our friendship. But I'm absolutely heartbroken. I at least had copium!

Also I swear S was indirectly giving signs! He told me confidential stuff! He listens to every single one of my rants and cares about me! I know friends do that regardless but the way he did it was so special and different.

He always tells me I'm very sweet though. That makes my day. It's really the only compliment he's given me. Besides at the beginning where he said that I'm "delightful to talk to" as well. :)) He's a good friend, I love him.

I read advice on what to do if friendzoned and I don't really wanna take it. I mean it says to ignore him for a bit! You don't ignore friends! Frickin website! What does it think it's doing? Maybe my definition of friendzoned is different or something. I'll ask R what to do tomorrow.