Back To December || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 8 - Taylor

That was the longest conversation Hotch and I had in the last week. I get that this event was close to home for him, but his comments and behavior towards me were totally unprofessional and unnecessary. He could simply have asked me for the truth, instead of being mad like a child and sending me for a drug test every week.

He doesn't show many emotions but the look on his face when he saw the sobriety chip was so satisfying and priceless. I needed that. I can't wait for his apology and he better make it big because I will play hard to get.

However, Sean's message upset me more than his brother's behavior did. We always had each other's contact information -making sure we update them in case of any change- but we haven't talked in over 10 years.

Yesterday he texted me about his talk with Aaron, and we had a call later when I was in the hotel. Hearing from him brought me back to one of the worst nights of my life. The call lasted 4 minutes and 16 seconds, we talked about where we are currently and he was really understanding when I told him that night will remain a secret between us and Leonard -my ex boyfriend.

I have gone too far to let Leonard destroy my career if anything gets out. I have a big chance for that Director of Communications promotion and I can't afford an internal investigation right now. Aaron Hotchner is aren't putting me in a minor risk with those drug tests.

When our call ended, the real panic started sinking in. Now, it is 7am and I haven't been able to sleep all night because I am trying to distract myself from spiraling down. It feels like my mind is running and running and running, and it is all building up to something that I have no idea how soon is going to explode.

Alcohol always made that feeling go away. It relaxed and realesed my brain. It made me feel normal. I feel guilty for even thinking about this now.

Thankfully, my alarm goes off. I get ready for work and I leave for the station. On my way, I stop to get coffee and I am immediately discouraged by the 5 people line in front of the register.

"Good morning, Taylor" I hear from behind

"Good morning, Hotch" I reply without even turning around

"How was your night?"

"It does not concern you".

"Taylor, I would like to apologize"

I finally turn to face him "Really? Alright, I am listening" I cross my arms

"I am sorry for the way I handled the situation"

"The situation? There was no situation, Hotch, you made one up. I may have done some poor choices as a depressed teenager, but it has been 20 years! My life has changed significantly since then, and I have changed. Apparently, you don't know me, so you don't get to judge me, Mr. Perfect" I whisper argue.

"Ma'am?" the cashier calls as my turn comes

"Good morning" I smile as I turn to her "I would like an Americano with sugar and half and half"

"Get breakfast" Hotch intervenes

"I would if I wanted to"

"Sweet or sour?"

"Nothing" I insist.

He rolls his eyes "Please, add to that order a breakfast item -whatever you like- and an espresso" he says and proceeds to scan his card.

"Why don't you get breakfast?" I wonder

"I already had breakfast"

"Yeah, right... Look, I don't need you tell me what to do or pay for me. This is not how you apologize--" I say as we step away from the line

"I didn't do it for the apology. Now get your breakfast and I will see you at work" he orders.

He follows me and takes his coffee. I take my things and I walk away from him. As we walk out of the coffee shop, I leave the bag with whatever pastry the cashier chose by a homeless guy on the sidewalk and I sip on my coffee as I go to my car.

"See you at work, Hotch" I say before I close my door.

My phone starts ringing before I can start the car. "Did you forget something?" I ask as I answer

"No...?"

"Oh, mom! I'm sorry, I thought it was someone else. How are you?"

"Very well. How are you, baby?"

"I am good. I hate to say this, but I have to go, mom. Is there a reason for this early call?"

"Yes. I am calling to ask you if you will make it home for Christmas"

"Right, the holidays..."

"Don't tell me you forgot. You haven't been home for Christmas in the last 3 years. You promised you'll make it"

"Yes, I did promise. And I will be there" I say pretended to be cheerful.

"Amazing! Don't worry, I will talk to your brother about his comments. Wow, I can't believe you are finally coming home. I will make your favorites, I bet you missed my cooking"

"I did actually" I admit

"Text me what you want me to make so I won't forget anything"

"Ok, ok" I laugh.

"And I can't wait to meet your boyfriend"

Fuck! I forgot about that...

Last month when my mom called, my brother was there and he started shooting his comments at me again. He implied that I was probably high because I forgot to call them in a couple months, he started flashing the fact that he is married, and I couldn't take it. So, I blurted out that I have been in a serious relationship for a year now.

"I can't wait for you to meet him" I reply to my mom

"Amazing. I will talk to you soon. I love you"

"I love you too. Bye"

"Bye. Have a good day, baby" she hangs up.

I hate my brother, but I also hate lying to her. I need to hire a prostitute for the holidays, because this is my only option right now. I can't go empty handed and be the subject of conversation over the holidays again.