Back To December || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 43 - Aaron

This passed week was been hell for everyone. Taylor is a wreck. She doesn't speak much, she cries at random moments and acts, she doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep. I had to put some drops of melatonin in her tea a couple of times. I feel awful about it but she couldn't keep going without sleep -she is barely functioning while rested.

It is like I am looking at a shell. Her light is gone and I am scared that it'll never shine as bright again. I will do anything in my power to give her even a portion her light back. I can't imagine my life without it -without her.

I hate how selfish it sounds. She lost her mother, and I am afraid of her change... Of course it will change her. I know that she will come back from it. I only hope to recognize the person that comes back.

She almost kicked me out of the hotel at the one week mark because she didn't want me to take another leave. She thinks I'll be more useful at work than staying with her for another week. What she doesn't know is that I would let the world burn for her.

I forced myself to go back to work without her and she stayed at Chicago for one more week. She is coming back this morning and I told her that I'll pick her up from the airport.

So like every morning, I get out of bed, turn on the TV and then go to the bathroom. I listen to the news as I do my morning routine and prepare some coffee.

"...Just an hour ago, Atlantic Airlines Flight 61 crashed in a field outside of Manchester, Ohio. The flight was coming from Chicago and was going to land in Virginia. Officials are already in the scene, looking for survivors, but as of now all 152 passengers are presumed dead".

I feel a punch in my gut. I drop everything and I run to the bedroom to grab my phone. I try to call Taylor but my call goes straight to voicemail. So, I call her sister, Ruth, next.

"Hello?" she answers

"Good morning, Ruth. It's Aaron"

"Oh, good morning. I'm sorry I didn't have yours number saved"

"That's alright. Is Taylor with you?" I ask calmly

"No, we said our goodbyes last night. I believe she is flying now".

I let out a small breath. "Right, yeah. I was just checking to see if she got on the flight. Thank you".

I hung up and I call Garcia. "Sir, I was about to call you--"

"I need the passenger list of that flight now" I demand as I feel my heart rate fasten.

"I am sending it to you now".

I hear her typing from the other end and I receive the list. I search for Taylor's name, and my heart drops.

"Sir..." she calls, probably noticing Taylor's name too

I try to remain logical. "Did they all board the plane?" I ask, already feeling the tears in my eyes

"I will try to contact the airline and find out as I call in the rest of the team"

"No, we can't work on this case. Not now...".

This is the first time I refuse a case they have assigned on us. There is no way we all work on this, not with Taylor's name on that passenger list.

"They want us to determine if it was a crime--"

"I said no, Penelope"

"Ok, ok. I will contact the airline again and get back to you". She hungs up on me without a goodbye or a comment.

I try calling Taylor one more time, but I reach her voicemail again. My stomach feels sick. I can't just sit here and wait. I grab my keys and the second keys she gave me to her apartment in case of an emergency. I don't even bother to change from my sweats, I just put shoes on and I leave.

I race to her house. Her car is in her parking spot just like I left it there before we left for Chicago. I park my car quickly in the first opening I see and I run to her apartment. My hands are shaking as I try to find the keyhole.

Eventually, I open the door. The biggest weight gets lifted off me the second I see her sleeping soundly on the couch. I chuckle to myself and I send her picture to Garcia. The notification from Garcia's response causes Taylor to wake up.

She rubs her eyes as she looks at me. "What are you doing here?" she asks half-asleep

"I was about to ask you the same thing" I reply as I sit besides her.

"I caught an earlier flight last night because I was tired of the hotel room. I have no idea when I fell asleep. Your turn" she says.

I take the remote from the table and I let her see the news for herself. "Holy fuck..." she whispers

"Yeah... Your name was in the passenger list and you weren't answering your phone"

"I suppose the list wasn't updated. Oh, and I ran out of battery on my way from the airport"

"And why didn't you tell me you changed your flight? I said I was going to pick you up" I remind her

"I arrive pretty late. I didn't want to wake and bother you"

"You are never bothering me, love" I tell her and pull her in for a hug.

"So you got worried for me?" she asks flattered

"You made me yell to Garcia"

"Oh, things were serious" she chuckles.

"Don't ever make me have to live without you, Taylor. I don't even want to imagine it"

"Don't worry, I'm here" she says as she rubs my back. "And maybe my mommy is watching out for me" she mentions

"Definitely" I agree. "Are you taking more time off?" I wonder as I pull away from her

"I am quiting. I am quiting and starting on the White House next month"

"You are ready?"

"I need to get back to my rhythm. I sat long enough, and maybe this way I'll get back to normal. I'll also start grief counseling" she explains

"That's really good to hear" I smile and I kiss her.

"And you know how we can spend even more time now that we'll work separately? That way we'll also avoid confusions like this one today..." she says

"How?" I ask but I already have a suspicion

"By moving in together" she suggests

"I thought you'd never ask" I kiss her again.

"Really? I was anxious that 4 months would be early--"

"I don't care about time. I am in love with you and I want to share my life with you. I want to return home to you, wake up and fall asleep with you every day" I state

She smiles widely. "I am glad we are on the same page". She kisses me and gets on my lap.