Back To December || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 35 - Taylor

"So, how are things with Hotch?" JJ asks as sit down at the coffee shop

"Wow, straight to the point" I chuckle

"Of course. You haven't told me anything about last week and I am curious"

"I thought you said you didn't want to have to think of him this way" I remind her

"I don't. But things are more serious now"

"Well, I wouldn't call it serious..." I sip on my coffee.

"You are still going 'one last time'? How many of them did you have in the last week?"

"A lot" I bite my lip.

"Why are you doing that to yourself?" she asks desperate

"We don't want to cause anything damaging. So, emotionless sex is better for now"

"Emotionless? Was it emotionless when you were comforting each other during Christmas?"

"That was different--"

"I am still mad at you for telling me about that immediately"

"I told you as soon as we got back"

"But you lied to me when I called you"

"Because I was scared!" I admit. "We were getting too close too soon and I didn't want to tell anyone... Sure my family thought we were together for a years, but no one besides us knew about the actual thing. And it felt really good. Aaron is amazing, and he made me feel amazing both emotionally and physically. It was almost too good to be true. So I was scared to tell anyone because I didn't want to jinx it. I know how stupid it sounds but it really is like that. Everytime I talk about something good in my life, somehow it finds a way to go south the next day. So, I am not going to apologize for wanting to protect something I found important for me"

"And how is that going now?" she asks

"It is going good in its own way. The promotion comes out next month and then we can be a little more comfortable".

"Taylor in her first relationship in 7 years..." she smiles

"I mean, I don't know if it is going to be a real relationship yet... And we both know that I don't have a great record".

"About that, I heard that Leo was killed in prison two days after they transferred him in" she says

"Yes. Apparently, they found him stabbed in his own cell. The coroner reports 67 stab wounds. 67! He must have pissed off someone very bad"

"How do you feel about that?"

"Honestly, unbothered. Since I saw him, I have been calling myself stupid for being afraid of him for so long. I really overestimated him. Oh, and I just got this...".

I reach in my purse and pull out my 17 years sobriety chip.

"That's amazing. Congratulations"

"Thank you. I can't wait to show Aaron..." I can't hide my smile this time.

"Hm... Emotionless" she mocks

"Shut up" I chuckle. "How about you? Ready to get back in next month?" I wonder

"More than ready. I love my boys but I could never be a stay at home mom. I need to do something else as well"

"Do you ever get tired?"

"Not really. Are you--".

My phone starts ringing, interrupting her. "Speak of the devil..." I say as I saw JJ Aaron's name

"Go ahead".

"Please, don't tell me we have a case for the third Sunday in a row" I say as I answer

"Good morning to you too, Taylor. Are you busy?"

"I am out with JJ. Why?"

"I was thinking of asking you out to dinner tonight"

"Dinner...?" I whisper.

JJ raises an eyebrow in her 'I told you so' way. "So emotionless..." she mocks.

"I thought we wouldn't..."

"I feel really bad for using you only for your body, lately. And it is just a simple dinner" he says.

"That is good" JJ whispers.

It is good. That is what I wanted. I wanted to be with him. This is taking us a step towards that direction. All of a sudden, I am anxious. It is happening...

"Or we could not. I am sure we can--" Aaron starts saying as he notices my pause

"No, no. I am in for dinner" I answer, overcoming my anxiety

"Great. I will pick you up at 8?" he suggests

"Sure"

"See you later then"

"Yeah. Bye" I hung up.

"There she is! The Taylor who was afraid of real dating..." JJ says. "Are you bipolar? I don't understand, just before the call you were explaining to me how much want to be with him, but now you don't?"

"I want to be with him. Being in our bubble during Christmas was great, we were on vacation and it felt like a tale. That was great, and in my mind we would be great there. Now we are back to work, to reality and it is getting too real. I want him more than anything, but I am also anxious to have him. Does that make sense?"

"It does actually... But it's Hotch we are talking about"

"Which will make it harder for me to pull away if it goes south"

"Stop being so pessimistic!"

"I am not pessimistic, I am just preparing for the worst so I won't be as surprised when it comes!"

"That is exactly what a pessimist person would say. Live a little, Taylor. You are going tonight and you are wearing the black two-piece you've been avoiding with the gold heels I got you. End of discussion"

"Oh, the gold heels... Did I mention how much Aaron liked them?" I tease

"No, and I would like for it to remain that way"

"Your loss. I thought you'd want to know about the champagne part at least..."

"The what?"

"The part where he licked all the champagne off my body while on his knees, like a dog"

"No, stop! I mean great for you, but the images... I'm never gonna look at Hotch the same again"

"It was fun. It was very fun, until we returned to the living room and saw the dead bodies on the news..."

"I saw it on the news as well. Was it that bad up close?"

"It was, and, to be honest, I have seen way worse. But it was the first case where I beat Reid and Hotchner at the same time. Reid on mythology theory, and Hotchner on the number of unsubs"

"Wow. Maybe I should feel threatened that I won't have a job after maternity leave"

"No, no. As much as I love them, I am going for Director of Communications. You know I like to keep myself very busy"

"Then, good luck with that. And good luck with your date tonight. I will be waiting for updates. Don't do me like last time where you shut me out"

"I promise I won't".

It can't go that bad again, right? This time he knows almost everything there is about me. We know each other pretty well now. He has seen me naked a hundred times. Yet, this is going to be the first official date we go on.