Back To December || Aaron Hotchner

Chapter 9 - Aaron

I am going to fix this. I was angry and Taylor didn't deserve what I did. They are absolutely right, I was too harsh. I let my emotions blind my judgement, which I never do. I am usually very good at separating personal from professional, but Taylor has upset everything.

Ever since she walked in my life, she brought this bright energy and she has that effect on me that makes me anxious. She was so good, it couldn't be real. And once I caught a flaw, I focused on it too much...

However, I will find a way to fix this. She has started talking to me at worked only about work related things, which is a start. I am trying to take care of her discreetly; I suggest pretty often to Garcia to bring her baked pastries to the office -Taylor can't say no to Garcia when she pushes the box of muffins to her face; I order take out for everyone on long days; I send them home early most of the days. I have to do it for all of them because otherwise Taylor will refuse everything.

Now, the second phase is to actually apologize to her. Alone. Personally. And the clock is ticking because she is leaving for the holidays in two days.

I was going to find her in her office at the end of the day today, but she left before me. So, once I was out of too, I took the impulsive decision to drive to her house.

My heart was racing from the moment I stepped out of my car to the moment I reached her apartment door. I think that the last time I was this nervous was when I was taking the bar exam.

I take a breath and knock on the door. I give her a few seconds, but she never comes. I take my phone and find her contact. I clear my throat and tap on her name.

It rings once. Twice.

"Wilson" she answers

"I am sorry to disturb you, Taylor, but I just realized that I am missing a tactical report. Is there any way you took it home along with other case files?" I lie

"I am not home right now. But I can check later and I call you back in a couple of hours"

"Nevermind, actually, I got it"

"Ok. Bye" she hangs up.

At least she isn't ignoring me.

I walk away from her door and I go home. I shower, I eat dinner, I go through some files, but all the while I cannot stop thinking about her. How is that even possible? What is that hold she has on me? I feel like I am going crazy.

And it will drive me even more crazy if I don't speak to her before she leaves for the holidays. Let's get this over with. I grab my jacket, keys and phone, and I leave.

I go to her apartment again and knock on the door without thinking twice. The door swings open and Taylor's eyes almost pop out as she sees me.

"What are you doing here?" she asks

"I want to apologize and I want us to talk without distractions" I answer

"And you thought coming here was the best way to do it?"

"Honestly, no. But I want to do it before your holiday break and this was my last resort" I explain

"Ok..." she sighs and opens the door further to let me in.

Her living room looks just like I had imagined. Warm tones on the walls, simple furniture, and colourful decorative pieces all around. She is wearing an adorable emerald green pyjama set with flowers all over it. This color brings out her eyes so much they look brighter than ever.

"Excuse the sitcom on the TV, the case files on the coffee table and my pyjamas. I wasn't expecting guests" she explains

"That's alright. I wasn't really planning on actually coming either" I admit.

She nods. She crosses her arms and leans against the wall.

"I am really sorry, Taylor. The way I treated you these last 2 weeks has been unacceptable, and I deeply regret it. I don't act like that ever. I am not irrational. Yet, I show up to your house at 8pm because I can't stop thinking--".

I cut myself off.

"From the moment I met you, I couldn't figure out where I knew you from. So I have been thinking about you a lot, Taylor. And despite that I trusted your judgement at work like I trust any other person on the team. But when I remembered you, I felt almost betrayed that you hadn't told me from the start -obviously you didn't have to, that was not my place. And it involving my brother made it so much worse.

"Of course, all the reasons I could give you don't justify the things I put you through. Even if I was upset, I should have given you the benefit of the doubt because you were excellent at the job you had to do. Again, I am deeply sorry. I will tell you that as many times as you would like and I will do anything for you believe me".

I fall silent. Taylor looks at me and there is a long pause. Eventually, she nods. "Thank you. This is definitely a great start for an apology, and I will believe you when I see us going back to normal, because actions speak louder than words" she says

"Thank you for listening to me".

She gives me a weak smile and releases her arms from her chest. "I was going through the new case files in order to have 4 cases for you in the morning before I leave for the holiday break, but there are more files than usual. Would you like to help?" she suggests

"Sure, I don't have anything better to do right now" I answer, even though I have a tone of papers laid out on my own coffee table

"Great" she really smiles now. "Take a seat. I will be right back with coffee" she slips away in the kitchen.

I sit on the couch and I start organizing the chaos of files that is currently happening on the coffee table. I count them as I put them into two piles randomly.

I hear her return from the kitchen as I finish up. "27 files" I inform her

"People go ham during the holidays" she comments. "Holidays mean family reunions. Family reunions mean arguments. Arguments sometimes mean murder"

"No, they don't" I chuckle

"Well, you haven't met my family... We better start if we want to be done before midnight"

"Yes, here" I slide the first pile closer to her

"Is it ok if I put on Brooklyn 99 again? Sitcoms help me distract myself when I am looking at too much blood and crime"

"Of course. This is your house"

"Great. Here we go..." she presses play and grabs the first file.