je t'aimais, je t'aimes et je t'aimerai

I WILL LOVE YOU - INSTAGRAM AGAIN?

I WILL LOVE YOU – INSTAGRAM AGAIN?

.

. June 27th

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"billkaulitz has started to follow you". You're fixing the notification. You followed him back about 5 minutes ago but you're still freezing about it. It's like a ghost from your past has appeared. You know you should have ignored it. But it's Bill! Bill your childhood buddy, your uni right hand, your almost brother-in-law. He was one of the most important people in your life. You couldn't just ignore him. But you regret following back and showing you care, so you get up and pour yourself a glass of martini. You think you should stop drinking anytime something bothers you, because you're turning into an alcoholic, but you lost control of your feelings the day your heart was reduced to ashes.

Your phone rings. A message. You're watching it from afar. Your phone is on the sofa, you're in the kitchen. You don't fool yourself; you know it's not Chris. You go back slowly to your phone, as carefully as if it was a giant spider. You unlock it and open the message.

B : Hi! It's Bill, but I guess you can see my username 😉

Even without the username, you'd know it's him. What are you supposed to say? Act normal like nothing ever happened? Act the way you feel: weird and psycho?

Y : Hi! It's Y/N, but I guess you already knew that as you DMed me 😊

You don't know why you said that. It was just a way to avoid the problem: talking to him.

B : How are you?

Over you twin. Happy. Starting a new relationship. Freaked out about your messages.

Y : Good thanks, what about you?

B : Amazing! We have not talked in a while 😊

REALLY? You think so? 3 years to be exact.

Y : Yes! You even had the time to become an influencer haha

Why do you keep on talking to him? You said you'd follow back to be kind, not to talk to him. You can't deal with talking to Bill, because Bill shares a DNA with him, and it's already too much for you.

B : I am not an influencer X

. I am a singer.

You spill your martini out of your mouth. A singer? Bill? Well, it's not that surprising knowing he used to sing absolutely anytime he could but wow. A singer? That's crazy.

Y : Wow, that's amazing for you!

. How did it happen?

B : Remember how you used to make fun of me for studying arts?

. I found a job in a music label, they liked my voice, someone let them down, I was there and now I do 1st parts for many artists and festivals [heart-shaped eyes emoji]

Y : Really????

. That's fucking crazy!

. It looks like your story comes straight out of a book! It can't happen in real life lmao

(Good for you, you're in a book)

B : Ikr

. The boys are helping me too! We formed a band.

The boys. You know he is going to talk about Tom. You don't want to. You don't want to hear anything about him. You already know too much.

Y : Great

. Is that why you moved to LA?

B : Yes, I love the sun and the people there 😊

. I'm sure you'd love it too!

And you don't know why you said that, but you did.

Y : I'll be in LA from Thursday

B : Really? We should have a drink ;)

Y : Yes, we should 😊

You turn down your phone. You know you won't, but it never killed anyone to say you'd do something and never call back.

You're still amazed by the news. Bill is famous. Your favourite emo boy became a sparkly queen! He said he was working with the boys and your mind is divided. You'd like to be supportive of your former friends and listen to their work but that would mean knowing what Tom is doing. Somehow, you're happy for Tom. He was always stuck with his guitar in his hands. Life is kind to him: a new wife, living from his passion, a new life. And you? Same old job and an alcohol problem. But you'll work on it, you promise yourself.

You pour one last glass of martini and go to bed, ready to forget about it all. You'll focus on growing your relationship with Chris, do your job correctly in LA and live your life. You decide you'll go clubbing before leaving for LA. You need to change your mind and clear out your thoughts.

.

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I WILL LOVE YOU PARTS ARE SHORT AT THE MOMENT BUT IT WILL GET LONGER SOON. EACH PART WILL BE A DIFFERENT DAY (idk why I wrote in capitals but I'm too lazy to write it again)