je t'aimais, je t'aimes et je t'aimerai

I WILL LOVE YOU - TOI, POUR TOUJOURS PART 2B

I WILL LOVE YOU  - TOI, POUR TOUJOURS PART 2B (these titles are getting out of hands)

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. Nat's POV

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This is going-well, it's easier than I expected. I thought people would see how fake my smile is but all of them tell me I look radiant. I can't relax, it's horrible. The more the evening goes, the more anxious I get. But I handle it well. I smile, I talk, I laugh, I dance, this is what is expected from me right now. My brain is boiling, my thoughts are racing and colliding together. The only thing that gives me strength right now is Tom. He holds my hand when I grab his, he smiles at me when he sees I'm losing mine, he encourages me to talk to his family and friends. But even when talking with people, my brain can't help noticing all the defaults in the venue, everything the journalists here tonight could criticize. I try to listen to everything around me, every conversation I'm not into; I need to know what people think of the reception. Maybe if I listen to enough people, I'll finally start to believe this is a success and I'll finally relax. I need to relax. Because if I don't relax now, I won't be able to sleep. If I can't sleep, I won't look good tomorrow, and I'm getting married tomorrow. I must look good. Cool, I just added something on the "things to stress about list". I have to relax, where is Tom?

Spotted! He's talking with Bill, they look like they're arguing. This is not helping my stress. What could they possibly argue about right now? They're supposed to have fun! If the main characters aren't having fun, how can our guests have fun? I just want to run to Tom's arms, wrap myself in them like a blanket and never move again. I should have listened to him, make a small and discreet ceremony, I would have handled it better.

- Bubba? Lottie stops me.

- What? I stop walking.

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, why? Pretend, pretend, pretend.

- Your smile, it looks fake. Nothing like sissy love to remind you you're a ball of nerves.

- Because my cheeks are hurting, I lie. But I swear it is genuine. Don't worry, Dot.

- Hmm... She doesn't believe me. You know what? Let's have a drink!

She drags me to the bar. One good thing about being the bride is that I don't have to queue; the bartenders are at my service! There are a lot of people queuing there, it's time to use my ears and try to catch some compliments about the evening. I need to feel better!

Okay, someone is saying I look good but my hair is messy. Not really helping, and now I'm self-conscious. Someone else is talking about their kids. Sweet, but useless for me. Oh, I think I'm hearing Georg speaking. Let's try to catch what he is thinking. "Which I fully support, by the way". Useless, he's talking about the German soccer team again... Oh, I'm hearing a "you knew!" coming from Phee's direction. Yes, Pheebs, everybody knows you hooked up with Mr Simons, move on. I bite my nails, that drink takes a long time to arrive and nothing is interesting to listen to... "Fuck with Tom". Hmm. That's Georg's voice, I'm pretty sure, and he can only be talking about one Tom. Who is he talking with? I turn around to see him discuss my sex life with Y/N... Great! I don't really mind Georg knowing the absence of sex in my relationship, because that's what guys talk about, but I'd like it to be kept in our inner circle. Y/N doesn't have to know these kinds of details... "He's more pleasant to stay with when he's not frustrated". Ouch, ouch, ouch. My anxiety reached a whole new kind of level. Is Tom frustrated? Shit, my finger is bleeding... He can't be frustrated, Georg is wrong! I offer Tom to have sex every night! If he wanted to, we could fuck. It's clearly Tom's decision! It's not my fault if he keeps it in his pants! Or he decided to wait until marriage! Oh! Georg may be talking about this; that makes more sense! Maybe Tom shared something with Tom, something about being frustrated because he wants to keep it for the big night. I think it just made me fall in love with Tom a little bit more. How to resist to someone who's frustrated for you? That's so sweet!