A Collection of Heartstopper Oneshots

Safe & Sound - midnightcharlie

Summary:

nick and charlie's new normal is tested
Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:
'don't you dare look out your window, darling everything's on fire'

This was stupid. Charlie knew this was stupid. He just couldn't bring himself to care when he finds that he feels closer to his boyfriend than he has since said boyfriend left for the University of Leeds just over a month ago.

It wasn't like Nick and Charlie were drifting apart, far from it since they still spoke and called daily as often as they could, they were just adjusting to their new normal. They'd spent the first few years of their relationship basically living in each other's pockets: always at each other's houses, walking Nellie and Henry together, going for milkshakes with the Paris Squad, playing Mario Kart, making out, napping together and just living in blissful domesticity with one another. So to go from that to only being able to see each other through a blurry facetime often cut short by Nick's horrible uni wifi was an adjustment for the boys to say the least.

Charlie was doing okay. Really, he was. He obviously missed his boyfriend like crazy. Every time he remembers how his favourite person is no longer around the corner he feels a tug in his chest so painful that he sometimes thinks he could die, but he's okay.

Until he wasn't.

Charlie's recovery was going okay, most of the time he was on top of it and he truly felt okay. Happy. But he still had bad days. It was inevitable and he'd come to accept that. They'd become easier to manage since his stay at inpatient, he and Nick had created a routine that grounded him and brought him comfort on the days where he felt like nothing was worth it anymore. And, logically, he knew that he'd have to face days like this without his boyfriend once he was off at university he just—he'd kind of repressed that line of thought until it all came back to haunt him.

He'd felt it from the moment he woke up. It was dull but it was there. He'd managed to drag himself out of bed and make it to school, though the day was a blur. He did what he had to do to get through the day until he could climb back under the covers of his bed, falling asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

When he woke up again, it was dark out now and the weight on his chest made it feel impossible to get out of bed and face the world; the rumble of his stomach taunting him, reminding him that he is alive, he has responsibilities and he needs to eat something. Nausea overtakes him at the thought of food.

He couldn't do it. Not today. Everything feels unsafe, food wasn't safe, his room wasn't safe. Where was safe?

Nick. Nick was his safe space.

Except, Nick wasn't here. He was four hours away enjoying a rugby social in Leeds, he was enjoying himself and Charlie couldn't ruin that.

He couldn't text or call his boyfriend, even though he knew that Nick would answer the moment he could, Charlie didn't want to ruin his fun. He will not let himself ruin Nick's new life at university, he will not let himself burden Nick with the darkness rolling around his head right now, he will not ruin anymore of Nick's days with his sadness.

Charlie was weak though, if he couldn't have the comfort of his boyfriend, he'd have to go to his second safe space.

Nick's bedroom.

Charlie found himself out of bed and out the door before he knew what was happening. He was suddenly faced with a door he had come to associate with safety. With home.

Though Nick wasn't there, Charlie hoped Sarah would be and he really hoped she didn't find it strange that her son's boyfriend had appeared unannounced at her house on a random Friday night when her son wasn't even there himself. Charlie just—he just really needed some form of comfort right now, anything, to stop himself from spiralling down an all too familiar path and if being in Nick's room will give him that then...he just hoped Sarah would understand.