A Collection of Heartstopper Oneshots

The Paris Effect - TheWalkingGrimes

Summary:

So far, Paris hasn't been quite what Charlie expected.
Notes:

CW: potentially triggering talk of food, food obsession, and restricting, undiagnosed eating disorder, Ben being a creep

Please be mindful about the eating disorder content. I tried to do a balance of not wanting to be triggering, but being authentically in Charlie's mind and unfortunately he's really not doing well at the moment. Don't follow in his example and please treat your body and yourself with kindness.

Part 2 of my Nick coming out POV is still coming, I just got distracted finishing Charlie's POV for this scene (and got sucked in, because Charlie's POV is my favorite to write).
(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:
Paris is nothing like how it seems in the movies.

This is a well-known fact, documented across the internet and in popular culture. There's even a psychological condition named for the extreme culture shock some tourists experience when the city doesn't live up to their expectations: Paris Syndrome. Symptoms include delusional states, hallucinations, depersonalization, and anxiety.

(Sounds like a Tuesday to Charlie.)

Jokes aside, Charlie felt like his expectations about Paris were realistic heading into it, thanks to Jane Spring and her inability to allow any good time to go unchallenged. He knew there would be trash, overcrowded tourist sites, and pick-pockets ready to snatch bags off unsuspecting travelers. And yet disappointment still managed to slither its way into the back of his brain and make a cozy nest there.

He'd spent hours fantasizing about this trip. Fantasizing about Nick. Whenever he felt overwhelmed by the stress from school, his parents, the impending dread of the day Nick realized he could do better and left him behind - Charlie closed his eyes and imagined holding hands on the Parisian streets. Writing their names together on a padlock. Kissing on the Eiffel tower. Paris would be perfect.

Charlie doesn't blame Nick for not being ready. Really it's his own fault for getting too excited about them being out in Paris. Which of course translated to pressure on Nick. He has no doubt that relieving that pressure, giving Nick as much room as he needs, rather than expecting him to conform to a deadline, was the right decision.

But.

He just wished they could hold hands without worrying who saw. Write their names on a lock without having to bury it under the others. Kiss without fear of another group stumbling across them and posting about it for the whole school to consume like a pack of ravenous jackals.

They could do those things, hypothetically. They just needed to be careful. But Charlie decided before the trip that it would have to be up to Nick. If Nick wants to take Charlie's hand, he'll let him. Charlie cannot take Nick's hand though. That's the rule.

That's what Charlie reminds himself, over and over again, as he watches Nick's hand swing perilously close to brushing Charlie's. In the hushed silence beneath the Sacre Couer's vast mosaic ceiling, every swish of Nick's arm disturbs the air with the roar of a passing train. Charlie catches sight of Tara and Darcy toward the front of their group, fingers woven together in a tapestry of their own as they examine the embroidery adorning the nearest side chapel.

And he aches.

"Where is the bell?" Tao whispers to Isaac behind Charlie - a stage whisper that causes several heads on the pews to turn their way. "Wasn't there meant to be a massive bell somewhere?"

"It's in the tower at the back." Isaac's voice is much quieter. "It's not open to visitors."

"Well that's bollocks-"