A Collection of Heartstopper Oneshots

Like The Rain - The_Same_But_Different

Summary:

Nick sorts out some thoughts the morning after Harry's birthday party...
Notes:

I think that Nick showing up at Charlie's the morning after the party is one of the most emotional and touching scenes in the whole Heartstopper story...we don't really know too much about what's going through Nick's head before that happens, though, and so I have had some thoughts about it...
Work Text:
Sleep's not a thing that's going to happen tonight.

By morning Nick's lost track of how many texts he's typed out and then deleted.

By morning Nick's staring at the ceiling trying to figure out how everything went so wrong so fast.

By morning Nick's running on a combination of adrenaline, sleep deprivation, panic and...

...and Charlie.

Yes

"Would you...kiss someone who wasn't a girl?"

Yes

...and Charlie's hand sliding over to his, so slowly that he doesn't realize until it's there...doesn't realize...until...

...something can sneak up on you like that, and you don't see it, you don't know it...until...

"Would you...kiss me?"

Yes

Because Nick knows now that he'd wanted this to happen all along.

Why else did he pull Charlie away from the crowd like that, why else did he bring him into that empty room, why else did he sit there and let Charlie ask those questions, all those questions that Nick hadn't had the courage to ask, God, Charlie was brave, he was so brave, and Nick...Nick wasn't brave at all.

What the hell must he have thought when I ran off? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he thinks this is just like Ben, all over again?

Charlie's eyes as Nick had walked away...

Oh my God...

There was a whole universe in Charlie's eyes, and Nick may have thrown it all away.

Oh my God, no, can't do this in a text, not in a text...what could I...what could I possibly...

He hadn't been brave last night.

He can be brave now.

Charlie deserves that. Charlie deserves...everything.

Yes

He tries to be quiet as he's putting on his shoes but suddenly Nellie's there, sniffing and waggling her tail happily, thinking she's got a walk coming...and for a moment Nick thinks of taking her, for Charlie, Charlie loves Nellie, maybe having Nellie there would make it easier, at least he'd have somebody there on his side if...if Charlie...

"Sorry, girl," he whispers into her fur. "Be back soon, all right?"

She watches him forlornly as he closes the front door behind him.

He's halfway to Charlie's house before he even notices the rain, and that makes him laugh, because he's been blocking everything but Charlie out of his mind since last night. He laughs because it's so absurd, how you can fail to see something that's right in front of you. He feels the rain dripping down into his hair, running down his face, and he laughs again, because the rain's so obvious once you notice it. You can't see anything but the rain, falling down all around you.

Did anything really change?

Or is it just that Nick's willing to see it now?

Whatever "it" is...

It's...

It's the way being around Charlie makes him feel...like he's more himself than he's ever been in his life. It's the way that Charlie's the first person he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning and the last person he thinks about before he falls asleep at night. It's the fact that when Charlie asked would you...kiss me? Nick knew there was only one answer he wanted to give.

Yes

Whatever "it" is.

Whatever it is, NIck can't imagine being without it.

And he's bloody terrified, too, but all he knows is that not having...this, whatever it is, is no longer an option.

Kissing Charlie changed that.

Kissing Charlie changed everything.

And this morning he feels like that kiss still hasn't ended.

How many times had he wondered what Charlie's mouth would feel like on his?

Well, now he knows.

He knows a lot of things now...

And other things...other things, he doesn't know at all.

Nick wipes the rain out of his eyes as he wonders what he's going to say to Charlie when he sees him.

When he's there, he'll know what he's supposed to do.

Won't he?

He'd better...because now he's there.

He doesn't even realize he's rung the bell until he hears it. It's a minute, it's a year, it's an eternity that he's waiting before the door opens...

...and then suddenly it doesn't matter, because There. He. Is.

Yes