A Collection of Heartstopper Oneshots

starlight, starcrossed - charlienick (Part 4)

Chapter 2: PART TWO.

Summary:

hi! we back! chapter count went up—part three is going to be the last full chapter, with part four being the epilogue. this story is basically finished, so part three (which is entirely done) should be out within the next week or two!

thank you to theo for, y'know, being the best and being my friend and helping me with this and sticking by me when i was in the weeds with it and a million other things. he's the only reason this got finished at all.

there are some more links in this chapter, and you will find clicking them helpful in translating some things/setting mood and tone, in songs. i recommend clicking them, but i'm not the boss of you, read however you see fit!

i hope you enjoy!
Notes:

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mildly descriptive panic attacks, misuse of alcohol (used to escape recent mistakes), mentions of ben hope and the feelings that arose and continue to surface from his presence in charlie's life, internal self-effacement.
CONTENT WARNINGS: a person being drunk and acting drunkenly.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text
"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine."

— Song of Songs 1:2

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Charlie finally gets time alone with Tori after he finds himself unable to stand the press of sweaty bodies and cacophony of the loud voices of his family and friends any longer.

He slips outside, fiddling with his phone, wishing not for the first time that he smoked. He knows he'd become dreadfully addicted if he tried— far too good for an anxiety such as his—so he doesn't, but an oral fixation runs deep in him. He bites his thumbnail instead, looking around for a good spot to sit, and sees her: Tori, sitting by herself beneath the chuppah, taking large sips of her over-full wine glass.

Charlie pockets his phone, drops his thumb from his mouth and walks over to her. She looks up when she hears someone coming, does a subtle double-take, then puts down her glass and looks back out at the setting sun when she sees who it is. She looks like she doesn't care who it would've been—she would've turned them away anyway. Anyone but Charlie. He knows what that's like. "Hey," she says. Her voice is hollow.

Curiously and tentatively, Charlie sits beside her and replies, "Hey. Alright?"

"I mean." She doesn't continue.

Charlie frowns. "Okay."

They sit in silence for a little while—Charlie knows Tori won't come to him with whatever's wrong and he's going to have to pry it out of her with steel forceps—but he thinks she deserves a little space to just sit and be.

He takes out his phone to take a photo of the paint-spilled sky, then tap tap taps and puts it facedown between them. He watches the colors and clouds continue to change. It's a religious experience; sometimes, he wonders if God created a sunset as a gift to His people. He knows it's not God—the phenomenon of light scattering has nothing to do with Him, though his mum might have something to say about that (what, you don't think God created the light? she'd ask. Charlie would respond, what, you don't think He created dinosaurs 6,000 years ago? just because he likes to be a little bit of a shit sometimes, despite it getting him in trouble). Still, sometimes Charlie likes to think it was God. Sometimes it's nice to think that He really did love them all enough to create everything—the sun, the earth, every person, light scattering, even, yeah, the dinosaurs. It's a nice idea, even though it's one he really doesn't believe in all too strongly.