i need to be new

June 12 2024

Might as well write if I have words in my brain
A little dim and a few lies but don't we live in the grim
Maybe my birthday means something
I'm nervous because they will come and then they will pass, the days
But I'm not depressed anymore like I used to be
I'm excited now, I know I can bear it now
I try to help everyone else now
But be careful for myself because I can be careless sometimes
I miss the country I used to live, do we all sing this now
The same lyrics, they say no one can understand
That's the same line I used to sing
So I guess we can
But he leaves me, and I know he never cared
But it's okay
Because I already lost him a few times before as well
And I'm so accomplished
Have all my goals, all my routines
It still doesn't matter if at the end you're a slave to the darkness and slave to a lie
If you do it you aren't free
Goodnight
We should sleep
Lies
Like on my sheet where I went to bed at 10.30 tonight
Under the blankets, deep
Waking up to a gleam unseen
In little smiles, dancing when you really want to sleep
But you'll keep talking, maybe two hours
Still sitting and it's still mid-day
I'll see you soon, then I'll see you never again
I'll see you soon, for a year, then farewell, it was fun, but will I really miss you?
Look back like how was this hard,
But it was
Now it's over

Why
I guess I learned