February 14, 2025

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by absy_22k

by absy_22k

My nail polish is all coming off
I should get it done again soon
I look nice because my clothes are tight
But I feel dirty if I think about what we did
And walking through the cafeteria
He's standing behind a pillar
And he looks at me with piercing eyes
Almost jump out of my skin
If I get in trouble for it
I talk to you
But that's a personal case
So maybe not
I'll ask you the weekly invitation
And you'll reject it again

And I cried because I want You
Oh that my ways would be faithful in keeping Your decrees
Oh that I would hunger and thirst for You
But don't just try to stop
Stop

I felt like I wasn't doing anything with my life
But what could I do?
Maybe I don't have to do anything
But that's hard
I mean difficult

I know he was joking with me so that's a compliment
"She's a bad influence"
They're trying to play with me
Do they know it won't work?

Wear black so the mosquitos are attracted to it
I was joking with you
I'm not mourning
Move on with life you said
I know
For a while I didn't

I'll talk to you later
I love you but so often it's painful

What does "no comment" mean?
I would like a comment on that
A thought
You know that person more than I do

No comment means yes sometimes
What are we on?

It's so hot now since the better seasons left
Not restful anymore
I almost fainted
So I didn't finish lunch

You remind me of Jane Austen
Like a Henry Tilney vibe
And I don't know what to do
I even googled it
''If a guy likes you, you just have to exist"
Got it
How do I normally exist?
I forgot

It's okay
It'll work out
I prayed
For all of it

Relying on music like an addict

I should make a force field analysis on the current events in my life

I did and it's too much to remember if I were to voice record it

Someone said ocean eyes before
But that was more crystal
Yours are more coral reef
And I like them because they swim around like turquoise whirlpools
And they're bright; you look nice
Glazed the table, glaze me like a doughnut, thinking, swimming
Hysterical, like you
Into the distance, moving so freely
Man hug like untainted sparkles
And I shuddered
I would like them on me, actually
I don't mind when I see them, actually
I normally don't like blue eyes, but dang

They scare me enough
But you look alive
You look innocent
Until you texted me later and I had to sit down and recuperate from the words
You like all the things I always wanted
You're bold enough
We're from the same place, three times over
Even though I couldn't go to your school, I would probably die
Eyes and music are the best drugs

Sardonic because I got them both in trouble
Detention all day
But I could care less
And I found a personality now
I'm not unconfident anymore
Like I was for the rest of my high school

You scare me like -- how did I get to the point where I want to feel it
If it breaks me I want to know how it feels
To be discarded and cry
To be dead broken
Without you
Like if it hurts so be it
Touch me til it's all I feel
Because you're you
And I might squeeze you in my heart after like a germ that won't leave
Like the times you felt bad and you wanted to stop
And you told me how I wasn't enough for you
How I wasn't worth it
And I'll remember you in black-and-black behind me at church
And our dads praying together
Mine crying on a mic
I talked to you once and you smiled
But now it hurts
It's okay though
To act like we've already gone so far

My friend got hurt by the likes of you
But did they ever feel bad
They know it destroys them
I saw it in his eyes in Mondulkiri
Consumption
Like bones scraping bones and everyone tears
My wounds are still open
Eating at her like she's a chicken leg

And new life was created
3 years ago I had a hard night
It was like the beginning of things
But so much has passed since then
And we have new people
April 12, February 17
Say goodbye and listen sometimes to what my friends think
She said that was like me
Thanks
Go swimming again at night
Or go on at least 3 walks with my hips and feet breaking
Left my mom at the hospital all day and it's so worth it

Go ahead and change your mind
Because no one's forcing you
It would be really weird but why not
It sounds kind of fun
I always have problems saying no
You can stay home from school
I want to too
Pulling my eyelashes out at dinner
And it being a mystery always makes it more exciting
Like what's behind blue eyes always scares me
The thoughts that play out like a record
And how's your mental state
And everyone said you're the reddest flag
Until you hit me up like
I don't want to use you
I don't want to be wrong here

You look like me

Plenty of ruinous devices that were dreamt into reality
But how many of us were actually sane
Looking like the only person that's real in a crowd
Eyes on the road but are they actually seeing
Tall enough that everyone can see and no one takes notice
Class clown who swished a three
But that's the only shot you'll make in your whole life
Who could know you'd change in every way and still the be the same 10-year-old
But we try to destroy tender love and care
Reduce our chances to ever find it
Because the bitter feels good on your throat
To casually destroy things before they exist

Not to write the most graphic poem
Left in a dark room
Like a safe but it's not
Pieces of you broken off like clay
Where if you're open so are they
And you're safe enough to be in danger
The only person to blame is yourself
When you drive on the streets and remember places you used to be
People you were once
How it all broke down and you had to build it all up again
Don't break it down again
They're all people too
Like when we threw rocks into the river in the forest
Like the bus stations with sand on the ground
Used to the typical
Now it all looks like a dream that was very vivid
You trying to be cool before you figured out how
Eyes start leaking and you punched walls
I remember the dark days like an old friend
And it's over now
With a couple weaknesses I didn't have before
With my earphones still on highest volume sometimes
But without you the way I used to have you
And time didn't stop
I remembered how to live a little now
Good to see you're still your dad's son
We copied their walks together
Have a good time with no school
Like I wish I was
But yours has so much more drama
But it's our fault
If everything's pink
I won't let you now that you've changed your mind
Tell me to my face no pun intended
But you're a guy of course
Will you still text me?
Us in person is the most awkward thing
If you saw me two years ago I'm not even recognisable
Do you ever white lie?
No one ever teased me because I was ''too nice''
Now they do, it's refreshing

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hurt my feelings -- tate mcrae >