i need to be new

Ladybug (May 28, 2025)

Dreams of a city I miss
But it was dyed with hues of Malaysia
Of my imagination dulled by time
And I think I'll feel my heart drop when I see it
As if I lost something and didn't gain the world
When I'm not ready to talk about it, it's the friends I saw recently
Disillusioned dreams of somebody that I used to know but grew up tainted to the extent of me
Not like a land simply in my dreams because I can't imagine walking next to those old walls on the broken sidewalks like I did in times past
I can't even talk to anyone, no one knows me
And I only stare at the land and run if it stares back at me
It's not home, if home is where the heart is

Remove my heart from make-believe islands that slash back at me
And fall into the riff like Inside Out
I don't miss you
You never existed
But He — He woke me up at 6.30 because He loved me
To me — no — my head, it is a large thing, scaling the heights, filling the skies
But to Him but a mite of dust — if cherished, a ladybug
I'm sure His love will continue.
Let not my hope be in a ladybug.

You appear to me in the words of others
In the colourful lights of a cheap hotel
Where I probably was once
Let me trust the One who saves me