i need to be new

May 18, 2025

I don't think you need to take my word for it
But if you were so annoying all the time
Kept breathing like that
I don't think I'd hate you
The way you lean all the way forward
And your dark eyes dart and point the same way they did in 2nd grade
You're special to me
You always will be
You're someone I know
Personally
So I hope you're fine
Even though sometimes we aren't
I knew you back then when the world was warmer
That I could sit next to you and see you
The same one
It means the world
See where you lived
For so long
What's normal
Like you have a life too
They all do

Does he feel things differently than they are
I have before
But he's smart
He's the one to ask
Reminds me of my dad in more ways than she mentioned
Everyone likes him and is slightly scared of him
He's nice to everyone
He's totally judged me a billion times
You know how we never got along as children
Things continue to be reflected in the here and now
I trust him
But I know what I can get from him
Sometimes he wears his emotions on his sleeve
I don't know if I could trust him permanently
But if I don't love him
He's so special to me
One of the original
Significant no matter what problems he faces

I don't want to waste myself
I still have him pinned in messages
The loud rock
Mandarin
Just talking over each other

I don't think I like you
I don't remember if you were there or not
But you probably were
And you just hurt me
Like you did even more before
When we were kids

Your blasted personality
It always gets you into trouble
Got me in trouble before too
You're stubborn, dramatic, judgmental
Frustrated, fluctuating, the class clown
You want it done one way
But it's the same personality I love
Because I never met someone else with it
And I've seen yours all my life, steadily
In the best memories
I've seen you be genuine too
Laugh with other people rather than doing it yourself
Being sweet and staying
You care for people and you can be open when you're quiet
In all circumstances
I'll see you in two months
And it'll be okay
If we don't meet again in a long time
Because you always lived here
In a beautiful land
For years and years
And I moved around and lived where everyone else did and lost what everyone else lost
And we always lived separate from everyone else
And it was always fine
And to those like you
Who I'm glad I knew
And who weigh on my heart
A part of me
We have hope