Lucy was lying on her hospital bed since yesterday, eyes fixed on the ceiling, in silence. Not a single word since yesterday. Just her and her thought. Her right hand glued on her belly. One step, one action, and it was over. Forever.
Twenty-four hours earlier.
She kissed Tim goodbye before she ran to her car. She was late. Bloody morning sickness. Thankfully the traffic this morning was not so bad. She closed her locker's door, fixed her hair and took a minute to have her new routine : brushed her 4 months baby bump. " You ready ?" she asked. A question without answer.
Four months ago, the most unexpected surprise knocked on their door. She was sure she had food poisonning after their date night or a nasty stomach bug. So after being sick for three days, she saw a doctor at the clinic next to her appartement. A blood test couldn't lie. She was pregnant. Something went wrong with her birth control apparently. She was pregnant. On her way back to their house she couldn't stop thinking. They didn't have a serious conversation about baby. Even if they always joking about " story for the grandkids thing ", it was not a joke anymore. It was real. They moved in together after a year, and one year and a half after their first real kiss, she was pregnant. She told him with a bit of stress in her voice. He stared at her for a minute, and simply smiled.
She joined Aaron, war bags were already in the shop. She let him drive this morning. After lunch they were dispatched on domestic violence. As the law allowed them, they entered into the house after announced they were police. They went upstaire, a man was yelling at someone. They announced themself once again. The man faced them, angry. They tried to talk with him, but he didn't want to talk. He wanted his wife, he wanted to talk to her. Probably under drugs or alcohol, he was not coherent. And it happened very quickly, in three seconds, one blink. The man wanted to run away, and in his ran away, he jostled Lucy, and dragged her down the stairs. Lucy was downstair, laid down on the floor. Before the man could stand up, Aaron cuffed him and laid him down on the floor. He checked on Lucy. She was unconscious.
Aa : Code 3, send RA, officer down, i repeat, officer down. Suspect arrested.
Fifteen minutes after, Lucy was transported to the hospital. Tim joined her there. When she woke up, when she met Tim looks, she understood something was wrong. Five minutes later, the doctor gave her right. She lost her baby and she had an emergency abortion. Her brain cut her off from the outside. Her world just collapsed. She still had her baby bump with no baby inside anymore. Her baby died because someone pushed her in the stairs. Her baby died because she went to work this morning. Her baby died because she was a police officer. Her baby died. And it was on repeat. And even if it wasn't her fault, her baby died because of her. That was she thought. And she didn't care about her head injury or her broken ribbs. Her heart was shattered into pieces. Since then, she was silent. She didn't touch her food. She was just a body on a hospital bed.
Twenty-four hours after.
Tim opened their home door and let her in. After 48hr at hospital, she has been discharged. She took off her shoes and went towards her bedroom. She closed the curtains and laid down on her bed. She slept all day long. Tim made her favourite dish with the hope she will eat something. But no, she refused it. Again. He kissed her forehead, and hugged her until she felt asleep. He was worried, angry, and devastated. He had to be strong for her, but, how hard it was for him. He lost his futur, his baby. He didn't blame her, he didn't blame Aaron, no. He deadly blamed that man, that stupid man. He faced him when he came to the station for Lucy's belongings. But hopefully for that man, Angela stopped him. " She needs you now. It won't change anything for you to punch him until he passed out. I'm taking care of it. Trust me. ". He knews she was right. Lucy needed him.
One week-end after.
The week was rough. Lucy bearly talked and ate. Tim took some personnal days to take care of her. She spent her days in her bed, or lost in front of TV. She had a lot of nightmares from that day. She felt so empty. She wanted to be alone, but at the same time being away from him was impossible. She wanted to scream but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. She wanted to her baby bump disappear, but it didn't. It was still there. A constant reminder of what she lost one week ago. She removed the picture on the fridge, and hid them in the kitchen drawer. She wanted to be there for Tim but she couldn't. She knew it was painfull for him to, but she was unable to make a move. She just took his hand when they were sitting next to each other or when he joined her under the sheets.
Another nightmare. Midnight. She tried to find Tim but his side was cold. She followed the sound of the water, opened the bathroom door, take her clothes off and joined him in the shower. He was surprised to see her there. They both stared at each other, and it happened. For the first time since her baby died, she burst into tears. Tim dragged her against him, and let her cry until she couldn't anymore. He switched off the water, gave her a towel and he escorted them to the bed. And once again she burst into tears. Once again he hugged her, and she hugged him back. " She's dead " she whispered against him. They didn't know the gender yet, but, she was sure her baby was a girl. " I know babe, i know ". She calmed herself, finding comfort into Tims arms.
L: I'm feeling so empty Tim. I was sharing my body with her, and then, she died. She died because i was doing my work. We won't be able to meet her, to hug her, to kiss her. Why?
T: It's not your fault you hear me ?
L: It is Tim. I was the one who carried her, i was supposed to protect her
T: No. It's not your fault... I was supposed to protect the both of you
L: Tim, it's not your fault..
T: See.. It wasn't our fault.
L: I don't want to let her go. I don't want to forget her. I'm not ready.
T: And we will not let her go. We will find her a beautiful name, she always be our first. I don't know what i'm supposed to do, or say. I'm probably not the best support right now. It killed me to lost her, to see you in pain. It's not right.
L: You're perfect. Don't change anything. You have the right to cry, to be angy too you know. I needed silence for a while. You gave me that. We need time. We need to...
T: Grieve..?
L: Hm yeah, grieve.. Since a week i wish i can feel nothing. But one thing i'm sure, i love you.
T: I love you too babe. One day at the time right..
L: One day at the time..
She felt asleep against him. Days were different everyday. Some days she was silent, some days she talked, some days she was off. She refused therapy for now. Friends came to see her, them. They mostly sat in the living room in silence, or if Tim was here, he was the one to talk with. They knew it was not against them, and she knew they will understand. Her mum called her, and after she admitted " maybe it's too late to made you change your mind about dating your boss " she gave her the most unexpected and unwanted advice " You should try again soon. Your fertility is becoming weaker with your age. I can give some article about that subject... and.. " And Lucy hung up. She wasn't ready to have this conversation with her. She just lost her baby. She wasn't ready to try again. Not now. Not only two weeks after her loss, their loss.
She was against the living room window, watching outside when she felt Tim hugged her from behind. She will explain her phone call with her mum later because for now she was enjoying the silence. He put his hands on her no more baby bump, " I know you love the name Sophia, maybe it should be her name.. " he simply said. She put her hands on his. Some tears ran down her face when she face him to kiss him. " I love you ". She was not here anymore, but today she had a name.
" You were just a small bump unborn for four months then torn from life. Maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why. "
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13.07.2024. Yes two stories in one day... Someone asked me a Sad Lucy one shot thanks to lucychen_lover , i hope you will like it! I hope you will all like it. Funny how i'm more confortable to write sad things... Comment and vote please, it helped. Take care of you.
