Sometimes, despite everything, you chose to prioritize one thing over another. It was not a real choice, it was just life.
After few hard days, for both of them, Tim ended his relationship with Lucy on the parking lot in front of the station. It wasn't something he had time to think about. When he saw her, when he heard her, in one blink his decision was made, and subconsciously, she helped him to realise it. And of course, seconds after the decision was made, he had the biggest regret. He just destroyed the only things who brought him joy and stability in his life since... maybe ever. But he had to. He had to protect her from him,from his traumas, from his past. And if the right way was to punish himself from being loved, well, maybe it was the right decision, all he deserved after all. Despite his decision, his love for her was still here.
When he left, he didn't give her the opportunity to make her own choice, to say something, he just left. Because, she was ready to fight everything, to be there for him, for them. She was ready to handle. His reasons were so simple, so ordinary. And for all of that, she was pissed.
First days were strange. She tried to avoid him and tried to act normaly. But what was normality when you broke up with someone and saw that someone the day after at work ? All she wanted was a real talk, between two grown up, she needed answers but she also had things she wanted to say. And when he tried to act like everything was normal again, she kind of yelled at him. It ended with him, sat in LAPD shrink's waiting room. He realised, that maybe, he needed a little help. Little did he know, his therapist was corrupt. One of the biggest case of the year : Corrupt shrink, corrupt officers. Lucy jumped from a moving car to another moving car to save his ass because it was him, and, the girl was still in love. At the end of the day, he made her promises of small doses and boundaries respect.
And he did. It was delicate, shy, clumsy. They finaly had that discussion. It wasn't easy, but necessary. Tim explained everything, gave her proper reasons. She listened, and she answered. Both them realised that the all Ray situation just enlightened a lot of things. They loved each other, trully, but they were both having demons they had to work on.
And they did. They both went on therapy. Communication became better in weeks. They focused on their friendship, they worked on it. They wanted to rebuild that. So, subconsciously they let their love story aside. Months after months they were back to they were before: friends. A real and strong friendship. She forgive him when she understand why he did it. How could you love someone when you hate yourself ? It was impossible, or at least, it was not healthy.
Three years passed. They were stronger than day one. Things were good. After a year, friends and co-worker stopped thinking of them getting back together.
When Lucy left the bar that night, she gave Tims adress to the taxi driver. She didn't even know why but she did. Thirty minutes and sixty dollars later, she was at his front door. She knocked, twice and waited until the door opened. Tim looked at her, at his watch and back at her.
" Lucy ? You ar.... "
" Shh. Don't say anything. I know. Backyard and beer ? "
He let her in, and followed her. She took two beers from the fridge, went to his backyard and sat on the wooden stairs. She knew she was tipsy from her earlier drinks, but, one more beer in a safe place wouldn't hurt her.
" You had a good night ? " he asked.
" It was nice... " she took a sip of her beer " It's strange... "
" What ? "
" Kojo.. "
" Yeah... He was a good boy.. "
Kojo passed away two weeks before. And it was painfull for the both of them. Memories brought silence, and questions.
" Did we make a mistake ? " she asked
" With Kojo ? "
" With us idiot... " she made a pause. " I mean, did we made a mistake when we chose our friendship ? When we left our relationship aside ? Did you think we should have fight for it ? "
" You think we made a mistake ? "
" I don't know. Maybe... Yes. "
" Maybe we did. Why did ask ? "
" Because when a guy asked me my number tonight i just couldn't gave him, again. I'm still in love with you dummy. And blame tequilla for this conversation, it made me talkative. "
" Again ? How many guys did you say no ? "
" All of them. "
" No date in three years ? "
" Nop. You ? I mean, you don't have to answer, but after everything this dating era with new person was never something we talked about. "
" Cause i never date anyone.. so no discussion. "
" You .. Never ? Not even a flirt ? Nothing ? Why ? "
" Same reason. "
" And we never talked about it. In three years. What is wrong with us ? "
" We were focused on our friendship Luce, three years ago, it was the most important i guess. Maybe we weren't ready, maybe it was a trauma we needed to heal, i don't know. "
" Are we now ? Three years after ? Are we stuck in our friendship because we are afraid to try again ? God, don't hate me because tequilla made me subconsciously talk about it "
" Can i be honest with you ? "
" Hm hm "
" The day Kojo passed away, Angela came for a beer that night. You know her, she's always here when we need her even when we're not asking. I needed someone to talk with, and it couldn't be you for obvious reasons. So we had beers, we talked. I wanted to show her the video when he destroyed your apartment and Jacksons room. And yes i still have it. And subconsciously i stopped for 5 seconds on a photo of us. And it made me smile. She, of course, noticed it and she started her monologue. I listened. And she was right. "
" What did she say ? "
" That we were both idiot ? That for her at least, between us it was more than just a friendship. And yes, it's true. My feelings for you were still here, maybe stronger, I never stop loving you. I just thought we aren't on the same page anymore, and because we fought so hard on our friendship i didn't want to ruin anything. And she ended her second monologue with " Well you guys are at the same era you were before you started dating the first time, except now, your flirting is unconscious. " .. "
" So we're flirting ? "
" Unconsciously ... "
" Unconsciously ... "
" Hm, maybe we should fix our mistake ? "
" Maybe. Tomorrow ? "
" You're asking that time ? "
" Hm.. So ? "
" Tomorrow.. "
" At the end, i'm glad i drank a bit much of tequilla tonight, it helped.. "
" Sure... "
And they both smiled. Three years. They needed three years. They fixed themself, their friendship to give them another chance. That night he drove her home, as a friend, knowing tomorrow things would change, for the better.
« And the light comes back and it's way too bright, And I'm not sure how to hold it all in. But I know there′s got to be something » ♫
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18/09/24 : Hello Guys ! A new one for today, for the week. I had the story stuck in my head all day while i was working with my mini humans. I hope you liked it ! Take care of you, see you next week and again thank you ! Please comment and vote, it helps a loooot ! Xx.
♫ Let it all go - The Lighthouse and the Whaler
