Lucy was sitting in her car, in front of his house. " This is all i want. " was on repeat in her head. It should be simple, but it wasn't, it wasn't because it was him. It was him trying, it was him respecting her boundaries, it was him with his small doses, it was him everyday, every shift, every night. It was him telling her he was still in love with her, it was him sitting in the therapist office and telling her things, it was him saving her life years ago. But he was the one who broke her heart, who left her in the parking lot, who made her cry, it was him who made her lose her sparkles somewhere. It was him, just him, with the good and the bad. So, no, it wasn't simple.
For ten months, things have changed, a lot. They fought, talked, cried, laughed, shared, tried to ignore each other, tried to not listen others when they suggested to just " move on ". They weren't ready to move on, they didn't want to move on. So they worked on each other, having therapy session alone, sometimes together, trying to fix things, trying to be better at their communication. They understood a lot. Yes that night he made a decision for her, but didn't she do the same with 5 players trade ? Of course she did, even if the reasons were different, she did. He wrote her a letter, (his first letter, and probably the last), telling her how sorry he was, how in love he was with her and the break up wasn't because i wasn't in love with her, it was just him messed up everything trying to punish himself. He shared a lot and she cried a lot. She didn't answer, he didn't ask for but her look next day spoke for her. It was enough.
Days after days, things were better, easier, normal. Without realising it, they were falling in love, again and that time it was healthier than the first time. Days after days, they became more than just friends, acting as if the world around them wasn't here anymore. They were back in their flirting area. It was nice, comforting, normal. It was him. And of course everyone saw it, some of them bet on them, some of them talked, and their friends.. oh their closest ones were just waiting for the next step.
But one day, Lucy was in Lopez-Ever's backyard, holding Angela's baby in her arms, the baby girl playing with Lucys fingers, smilling at her. Tim was just staring at them and everything became clear. He wanted that with her, he wanted everything. That day he had a discussion with Angela when she approached him, because, well it was Angela, she saw everything, everytime. She teased him of course, because it was her job, but she let him talk. After he thanked her, he went in Lucys direction, the little girl asleep against her chest.
" You have a minute ? "
Lucy nodded and looked at him.
" Ten months ago i messed up, badly. But, this, you and one day a baby this is all i want. All of it. The good, the mess, the bad, everything. I didn't fix everything, I got it, but i'm trying. And it's ok if you're not ready for something, anything, I'll wait. As long as you need. But, i'm not going anywhere. Things changed between us in ten months and, well, I fell in love with you again. I never stopped to love you, but, now, it's stronger. "
With a smile he kissed her forehead before he walked away, giving her time to process things. And well it was a lot. Rain ended the Lopez-Ever's BBQ.
Lucy was supposed to go home after, but she was parked in front of Tims house. Her mind focus on what he said to her earlier. She wanted that too, but, what if everything happened again ? What if one day he broke her again ? She trusted him with her life, but with her heart.. Oh it wasn't because she didn't love him, in fact, she loved him more day after day. Was she ready to jump into that again ? Should she trust her mind or her heart ? She knew he was trying, and his little talk earlier was the result of his hard work. So what if this time things were different ?
Two minutes after she was knocking at his door, nervous. Both staring at each other, he let her in for the first time in ten months. She was still nervous when she decided to hug him, out of nowhere, just to give herself a little encouragement.
" Are you ok ? " He simply asked, Lucy still against him
" I am now ". She simply answered.
Because it was true. Nothing felt better than being connected to him in the most simple way ever. And, she missed it, being hold by him. And he missed it, her voice like a whisper in his ear.
" I want that too, all of it. We are worth it. "
And this night, they talked, agreed to give them another chance. It began with a date, and another one, a third one, cuddles, a kiss and another one, sleepovers, therapy, more kisses, more dates, more Tim holding Lucys hand in the middle of the street, week-end away, and sex. Because they took the time they needed to rebuild their bubble before being that close again. It wasn't easy, but it was them. Another year passed. Lucy joined him in the kitchen at 8 am, giving him a hug the way he loved: her hands under his shirt, her head on his shoulder.
" Happy birthday Daddy "
Because yes, she was pregnant. They made the test earlier this morning. The two pink lines confirmed it was not a bad stomach bug, no, it was a little something they both wanted since that day at Lopez-Evers house.
« And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway. I just wanted you to know that this is me trying » ♫
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15/09/24 : Hey Guys ! I hope you're fine and you had a good week :) ! I wish i could write MORE but i'm so tired of work.. Oh yesteday i enjoyed pictures and pannel from ECC2 in Chicago so much, it was nice to see people and them happy and smiling. I was thinking of going in Paris in May, but, well MONEY ... Maybe one day. Hope you enjoyed this OS. Don't forget to vote and comment. It helps. Take care of you :)
I will try to write something next week before friday cause i'm going to Paris for the week-end, and i won't be able to write on the week-end...
And please if you have ideas, share it ! Sometimes it's difficult to have new ideas (Can't wait for S7....) !
♫ This is me trying - Taylor Swift
