Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
╰┈➤ Dan Heng struggles to outrun Dan Feng's deeds and his past with Blade. The encounter leaves him forced to face his denial, and even worse, his traumas.
PANIC ATTACK SYMPTOMS AHEAD!! ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Running was of little use. The more Dan Heng ran, the more Dan Feng's past choices came to light. He couldn't accept it, he just couldn't. Many people dubbed him the reincarnation of Dan Feng, but he just didn't want to accept that fate. He couldn't bring himself to think off all the horrors that Dan Feng brought into the world. The more that Dan Heng thought, the worse he panicked, descending into hysterics within Blade's merciless grasp. Dan Heng let out a strangled cry. Struggling was futile. "Pay your price," Blade demanded as he threw Dan Heng onto the ground. The gaping Scalegorge Waterscape bathed Blade's pale features in a blue-green hue, illuminating his cutting, fiery eyes. "Imbibitor Lunae, stand up." Dan Heng no longer had the strength to push himself up. He was battered and bleeding, exhausted and mentally unstable. "..I'm not him." Dan Heng continued to argue. Blade harshly kicked Dan Heng's side, "Get up," he demanded. "You are him, accept it. It'll make you feel better." He pointed his sword at Dan Heng's back.
Even with the threat of having his heart pierced out from his back, Dan Heng could only manage a defeated grunt. He shuttered, forcing himself to look into Blade's eyes. His lips parted slightly, blood seeping out from the corners of his mouth as the cuts along his lips and inner cheeks oozed. Dan Heng slowly tightened his grip around the Cloud-Piercer, forcing himself to his feet and preparing to battle Blade yet again. Each dent he made in Blade's skin would only be repaired within seconds. It was all fruitless. But Dan Heng needed closure, he couldn't live with it anymore, the burdens of his predecessor haunting his every move. Each time Dan Heng blinked, he saw glimpses of his worst nightmares. Now infuriated and unstable, Dan Heng hurtled his spearhead wildly. Every thrust and slash created gaping wounds in Blade's immortal vessel, spewing blood and painting the ground of the waterscape in crimson.
"You really are him—!" Shrieked Blade as he withstood Dan Heng's infuriated attacks. "You're a killer, Imbibitor Lunae!" Dan Heng couldn't hold himself together, "I'm not— I'd never!" His cries seemed to fall upon deaf ears, drowned out by Blade's maniacal laughter as Dan Heng proceeded to take several steps back, unable to continue attacking. He was too exhausted. His limbs were burning, his brain begging for rest. He wanted to cry for help. But that was pathetic, and even with his gushing injuries, Dan Heng forced himself to face Blade alone. Blade shook his head, "You'll accept it someday." He murmured, afterwards turning his back to Dan Heng, who could only flop onto the ground, lying in a puddle of blood.
He felt like he was going to die. Every inch of his body was aching and burning with agony unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. His denial is evident. Most people respected it and instead referred to him as Dan Feng's son, which he was far more comfortable with. But being called Dan Feng himself? Dan Heng couldn't take that. When he heard the comparison, he felt his mental state starting to crack, threaten to shatter and come entirely undone. "..Trailblazer." Dan Heng murmured through the blood filling his mouth, his breaths shaky as he trembled violently. His breaths heaved, almost reminiscent of wheezing with how shaky they were. He couldn't breathe. It was terrifying, like he was being crushed by an unfathomable amount of weight. Dan Heng dug his fingernails into the ground of the waterscape, his eyes stinging with bitter, salty tears. As he forced his eyes shut, his tears escaped down his cheeks, dripping down his chin as he laid along the ground, unable to pick himself up. He laid there, panicking and sobbing to himself.
He felt weak. He felt humiliated. In that moment, he was in far too much pain to care. Dan Heng couldn't even move with how painful it was. All he could do was lay there, lightheaded and dizzy. His sides heaved. His head spun. He was alone, surrounded by the chill in the air and a puddle of his own blood and tears. At that point, Dan Heng crumbled, beginning to bawl. He whined and pleaded for help, though it was all useless, as his cries could not be heard. He was going to die alone. That was it. Just like his predecessor. He was just like him, wasn't he? His denial is stupid. Dan Heng cried loudly. He couldn't keep himself anchored down any longer. All of his pains had just boiled over, crushing him until he couldn't breathe.
In his double vision and ringing ears, Dan Heng was practically senseless. But even in his blurring vision, he could still recognize your approaching figure, quick and shouting for him. He shut his eyes, huffing through his panicked state. He couldn't be seen like this. It was humiliating to be seen bleeding and hyperventilating while sobbing like a pathetic baby. Your presence washed over him as he sobbed and hyperventilated. Your gentle touch ran along his wounds, forcing the bleeding to halt. Dan Heng's strangled cries intensified, his eyes round and terrified as he scratched at your hands. The pressure from your palms was too painful. You cleaned your hand on your clothes before placing it on the side of Dan Heng's face. He looked into your eyes with pure terror on his expression. "I was worried about you." You softly said.
Dan Heng's lip quivered before he just couldn't stop himself. He burst out into hysterical sobbing, hiding his eyes in his palms as he wailed. Even as he laid on his back, facing the sun, he couldn't feel warmth. He felt cold and alone. His heart felt so heavy and so painful, his chest tight and his thoughts deafening. He bawled into his hands, trembling and hyperventilating. Your warmth began to slowly fall over his shaking figure, yet somehow, barely any comfort came from it. All Dan Heng could do was whine and cry, pleading for release from this hell. Even as you held him close, he couldn't stop himself from falling further and further into an uncontrollable panic. He couldn't breathe nor think properly.
"I'm scared." Was all Dan Heng could manage to say. You curled around him, somehow numbing the pain in his wounds. Dan Heng hid his face in your shoulder, allowing his tears to fall from that point onward. Your words hit his ringing ears like a comforting lullaby, "This is your identity," you squeezed Dan Heng close to yourself. "No one decides what you call yours except for you. Instead of focusing on if Dan Feng is you, you need to look in front of you. You won't get clarity from clinging to all of the injustices in your life." Your words hit him like a semi-truck. It hurt, but it was the truth. Dan Feng could very well reflect Dan Heng, but he didn't want to accept it, their morals parallel entirely. He was denying it over and over instead of just accepting what happened and moving on. He clung to useless questions that could bring him no consolation. What was he doing? Wasting his time, that's what he had been doing.
In his moment of clarity, Dan Heng wrapped his arms around you, tugging you close to himself as he hid in your clothes. You hugged his head, petting his dark hair all the while, patient and gentle with his heart as he handed it to you to piece back together. As his tears fell into your lap, Dan Heng released the thought of Dan Feng, allowing it to melt from his hands. He wasn't sure if he was ready to free himself of the cold shackles of the past. Dan Heng felt oddly terrified without his conscious being glued to the past. He wanted to forget everything and start fresh, but he knew he'd have dreams of everything that Dan Feng did, whether this was technically Dan Heng himself or not— it didn't matter anymore. All that can happen now is traveling down his own path, one that will branch away from Dan Feng's path. Dan Heng will find his own way around the thorns of his life. Even if it means forcing himself to accept Dan Feng as himself, he will face this harsh winter and be met with spring. He can forget his predecessor and move on. You know it better than anyone. If not, you will hold him until he's ready to stand up and try again.
The past is easy to get lost in. It's a challenge to let go of your regrets and the what if's of life itself, but in the end, you cannot change what has already happened. Focus on what you can change instead. Even if you feel you have no purpose, you will make your own. Every path you walk is forged by you, the present form of you, not the past nor the future— the present is what decides everything. Accept what has happened. There is no better way to move forward. Even if he's a mess, he will overcome his fears and leave the depths of his personal hell without even so much as a single scar— but instead, a smile. That is the future you wish for him, and the future he will work to pave, because your life is decided by you alone: nothing can hold you down.
"Dan Heng," you began. "Let's go. You will be okay." Knowing that, he was able to stand again. His grip would loosen, releasing his burdens and the weight of his regrets along with it. Within the murky waters of what once was, there will be beauty, it is all that he makes of it. Dan Heng left the Scalegorge Waterscape that day with an entirely different perspective of his own life, and even his future.
