Ghost Bird Fanfiction: Sang's Lyric, The Story of Sang Sorenson's Mother

Ride

I woke up when it was still dark, my eyes popping open in panic when I heard the snap of a branch nearby. I sat up and came face to face with a doe. She stopped, one hoof lifted, as surprised as I was. Her tail flicked while we regarded each other,  her liquid brown eyes watching me and her ears twitching back and forth. She lowered her face slightly, like she was going to go back to rooting in the ground, but a sound, something I couldn't hear, caught her attention and she lifted her head. Her tail went straight up into the air, and with a graceful leap, she disappeared.

I stared after her, grateful that it had been an animal, and not a person, when I heard the crack of a rifle shot. I jumped in my bag and put my hands up over my ears.

Hunting season.

Another reason why I wasn't safe in the woods.

I crawled out of the bag and rolled it up. I wrapped it in the tarp and then stuffed it in the garbage bag. In the light, I could see how dirty I was. My jeans were stiff with mud and muck, and my nails and hands were so dirty it looked dirt had been ground into my skin.

I could ride my bike to school and use the locker room to shower, but I'd need to leave early.

I made my way through the forest, toward my trailer, when I suddenly stopped, remembering the tire on my bike. I almost cried out in frustration.

Why did everything have to be so hard? 

Okay, I thought, taking a deep breath and pushing away my panic. I'll take the bus. No morning shower. That's okay. I can still wash up when I get to school.

My mother's car was in the driveway, parked precariously close to the front steps, showing, yet again, she had driven home drunk. I crouched next to the car, near the side mirrors, and examined my face. It was splattered with mud, and my hair had leaves and twigs stuck in it. I started picking out the pieces I could see and feeling in the back for anything I couldn't.

I had extra clothes in the shed, so I went in there. It was so cold this morning, I could see my breath in the air. I stripped off my jeans and underpants quickly, hiding behind a stack of tires in case Tim woke up early and came out looking for me. I took out the only other pair of jeans I had and pulled them on. I would have to stop at the laundromat in town today and wash my clothes.

These jeans were older and more faded, if that was possible. The waist was higher and they were tighter. All of my clothes were getting tighter, despite the fact that I hadn't gained weight.

I shivered and put on a hooded sweatshirt. My jacket would need to be washed, and my shirt. I only had one bra, and I sniffed it. It didn't smell, but I'd have to wash it later too. I quickly pulled on the sweatshirt, lifting the hood over my head.

I held onto my t-shirt and went back outside to my mom's car, kneeling next to the mirror again. I rubbed at the dirt on my face, trying to get it as clean as possible. My hands would have to wait until we got to school. I had a study hall later in the afternoon, I may be able to sneak out to take a shower.

I sighed as I looked at my reflection. The dark circles under my eyes were even more noticeable than they were yesterday, but I looked about as good as I could.

I debated creeping inside to see what time it was. The bus came at quarter to seven. I didn't think it was that late, but I didn't want to miss it so I started to walk to the end of the drive.

While I waited, I shifted my weight from foot to foot to keep warm. I pulled my hands into the sleeves of my sweatshirt and wrapped them across my body. I stared down at the ground, keeping my ears open for any noise from the trailer, and tried to figure out my next steps. School felt like a vacation compared to my life. I didn't have to worry about food, because I could get breakfast and lunch there. I qualified for free lunch, so I didn't have to spend money. It was warm and dry. Boys ignored me, and girls didn't see me as a threat, so I was invisible. I could go to the library and do my homework, read, and then take a bus to babysit. It engaged my brain, not my survival skills.