I like the aquarium, don't get me wrong. I love seeing Eleanor so happy. But half the time I still picture her here with Livi and I know that's crazy but I can't help it. I keep reminding myself I don't have to be angry anymore. About her and the rest of them and everything that happened. But I still am. I'm so so angry about so many things and it's exhausting to be this angry all of the time. But I don't know how to stop. I've never been a forgiving person. When I'm with Eleanor is one of the rare times the anger isn't so strong. When I'm with Eleanor and we can just relax and talk and laugh and for once there's no tension, there's no elephant in the room, I almost feel okay.
