Because when you feel lonelier than you've ever felt in your life and when you hate yourself so much that you'll do anything to escape your thoughts for just one night and when you feel so ugly you can't bear to look at yourself, then you start to think maybe it wouldn't be so bad to kiss a boy and listen to him tell you how pretty you are and how amazing you are. Even if you know it's not true. Even if you both know it doesn't mean anything, that it's probably not his first time and he's likely told about a dozen other girls the same things he's telling you now. Even if you know you don't like boys. This boy isn't so bad, you think. He's nice, not like those boys at school. If you did like boys, you could probably like someone like him. You feel safe with him. Even if secretly it makes you feel kind of sick. Who really cares, if it means that for one night, you can just forget everything?
