Okay so that thing Will said really bothered me. I don't really care about looks in a partner. And I know everyone says that but a lot of them don't actually mean it. But it's true I really don't. If Eleanor told me they wanted to completely change the way they look, cut their hair short and dye it purple and get 10 piercings then I'd say do whatever you want (within reason meaning not putting yourself in danger somehow.) I want you to present yourself the way you feel comfortable not the way you think you're supposed to. Confidence in who you are is much more attractive than a certain hairstyle or what you wear in my opinion. Because why would I want to be with someone who isn't true to themself? And so I expect the same both ways. If the person I'm with doesn't like me for me then why would I want to be with them? Not that I actually want to get a buzz cut, I might cut my hair but not that short because I like being able to style it different ways. But it's the theory that counts. So anyway I was pretty pissed about what they asked if I was worried Eleanor wouldn't like me anymore if I cut my hair, especially since they know I've been feeling really insecure but then they said the part about that fear being the reason they haven't cut their hair and suddenly I realized they were projecting. All this time I thought he grew his hair out because that's the way he liked it but now I'm not so sure. Well either way I hope he decides to do what he likes rather than worrying about what other people think. I realize this makes me a huge hypocrite. The truth is I feel like he's always been a lot more insecure than he lets on and kind of hesitant to express himself in that way. Maybe it's because of his mom and all that. Obviously it's Connor's opinion he cares about but I hope one day he'll stop caring so much about what other people think. And I hope one day that I will too.
