Bring Back My Summer Love

Begin Again 8

Elianna Demi Rodriguez

Nag-aya sina Rayna na lumakad lakad na lang muna at sabay na lang kami uuwi mamaya at dumiretso na lang sa kanila. 8pm pa naman kasi daw yung dinner nila dahil dadating yung Lola nila.

Habang lumalakad, umuuna silang apat sa amin. Planado na to eh, ang ganda nila mag plano diba? Hindi obvious.

All I did was love Keanu and all he did was hurt me.

"Uso usap" Parinig ni William samin. Hindi naman sila kasi gaano kalayo sa amin. Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Keanu at umiwas kaagad ako.

"I heard na ospital ka?" Tumango lang ako sa kanya. I want to close my eyes and cry, ngayon ko lang ulit narinig yung boses niya na ako yung kinakausap.

"Okay ka na?"

"Yes"

Tumango naman siya at pa cool na lang ulit na lumakad. I realized, not all the people in your life are meant to stay.

Dapat kasi nagagalit ako sa kanya, dapat kasi hinahayaan ko siya, dapat kasi mag mo-move on na ako, dapat kasi ughh!!

"Dito na lang muna ako, sabihan mo na lang sila" Sabi ko sa kanya at umupo sa bench na andito sa mall. Huminto naman ito sa paglakad at umupo sa tabi ko. Umisod naman ako ng kaonti, tiningnan niya lang ako.

Ako lang naman kasi ang nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko eh. Nakaka-bobo.

"I heard Benjamin's courting you?" Nasamid naman ako ng sarili kong laway sa tanong niya.

Eh?

"You two look good" Kumirot naman yung puso ko. Is he fucking damn serious!? Tinatanong ko nga minsan sarili ko kung sa pinagsamahan namin noon, eh seryoso pa siya. Tsk.

Kung alam niya lang kung ano ang mga ginagawa ko! Ughh! Kung alam niya lang na andito pa rin ako sa kanya nagpapakatanga.

"Really, Keanu?" I asked with my all sarcasm. Tiningnan niya naman ako. Naiinis ako sa kanya! Naiinis!! Ugh!!

"Gandang pakinggan naman kung galing sa'yo" I laughed barely kahit halata namang plastic.

If he wants me to go, then he will avoid and reject me! Wala naman sa kanya kung masaktan ako diba? He's a fucking stone now.

"Sasagotin ko siya, para sa'yo" Inis kong sabi sa kanya at tumayo. Hinawakan niya naman yung kamay ko pero tinabig ko iyon.

I'm damn tired! I'm fucking done!

**

One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to let go of all of the things that make you sad.

Dumiretso ako sa bahay kaagad. Inis kong hinubad ang bag ko at humiga kaagad sa kama.

Really eyes? Aren't you tired?

Kinuha ko yung laptop ko at nag search ng kung ano ano. I ended up searching for:

How To Get Over  A Guy  Who Doesn't Care  About You    

1. Be strong and think: So what if he doesn't like me? He is not the only guy in the world. Remember this; he is not one in a million, but rather just one out of a million. Yes, he is not that significant if you put this matter in that perspective.

Mas naging interesado ako at pinatuloy yung pagbasa ko.

2. Ask yourself a few questions that can strengthen your resolve to forget him:

Why should I waste my time on someone who doesn't care and isn't willing to spend his time on me?

Why should I waste my emotions on someone who doesn't reciprocate?

Why should I waste my tears on someone who will never know, never care, and wouldn't care?

Why should I subject my heart to such pain over someone who doesn't give two hoots about me?

Why should I put myself through the arduous torture of missing him, thinking about him, caring about him, and loving him when I gain nothing in return?

Why should I get depressed over a man who isn't "the one" and who can ruin my chances of meeting my soul mate?

I wiped my tears. Kung nagawa ko nga noon yun ky Benj, bakit hindi ko magawa ngayon sa kanya? Kayang kaya ko yan. Maybe it's time to love myself, again.

3. If you have resolved to forget about him and move on, stick with it.

Do not hesitate. Do not invent different excuses for you not to move on.

4. If you are in the situation where you think he might have liked you, and then you realized he wasn't interested, know that it's OK.

It happens to everyone. Just move on and please don't dwell on any past 'experiences' that made you think that he liked you. Do not give yourself the opportunity to think that you might still have a chance. If there really was something between the two of you, don't you think something would have already happened? Why wait till the time when you finally realized that it isn't mutual?

5. Do something that can take your mind off him and this one-sided relationship, even if it's just for a little while.

Do not lie in bed, cuddling underneath your blankets and listen to depressing songs. Nope, that isn't going to help-- it will only make you feel worse because all you're going to think about is him, him, and still him! Go for a jog, walk your dogs, clean your room, cook something, bake, do anything!

I close my eyes and let the last tear fall. Last na talaga to, last na to.

Wala ka ng luha pang ilalabas, okay!?

I will find the courage to let go of what I can't change.

Rayna calling

"Hello Edz"

"Oh?"

"Lika na dito, andito lang kami sa labas"

"Okay. Wait for me"

Naligo at nagbihis ako na nag consume lang ng 15 minutes, dinalian ko talaga. Lola ni Rayna at Keanu ang andiyan, wala namang espesyal na occasion eh.

Pero para sa akin magiging espesyal to. Itong araw na to kasi, sisimulan ko ng kalimutan siya.