Bring Back My Summer Love

Begin Again 51

Elianna Demi Rodriguez

And I finally gave up, dropped the fake smile as a tear ran down to my cheeks and I whispered to myself "You can't do this anymore, Elianna"

*knocks*

"Elianna buksan mo to" Mas lalo lang ako nainis ng marinig ko yung boses ni Keanu. I even throw something big and hard at the door.

"Damn it Elianna, ano ginagawa mo diyan?" Tanong nito at malakas na katok ang sa pinto, tumayo naman ako at binuksan iyon at tumalikod din at dumapa sa kamya. Nilaro ko yung lamp shade ko, I keep on pulling the sash.

"Love" Tawag nito sa akin, hindi ako sumasagot. Love? Damn him!

"Leave Keanu"

"Elianna, mali yung nakita mo" I laugh at him sarcastically. Tumayo ako at sinampal ito ng malakas. Isang sampal lang yan, pero tipon tipon na yan.

He bite his lips and close his eyes.

"Why Keanu? Dahil nakunan ako!?"

"Hindi yun Elianna!" Tumaas ang boses niya at lalo lang akong nasaktan.

Saan ako nagkulang?

"Then what Keanu!?"

"Sinamahan ko---" And again, I slap him again. Kung mas malakas sana akong sumuntok, sinusuntok ko na to sa mukha.

"Palagi kang ganyan! Meron kang girlfriend dito Keanu!"

"Really Elianna? These past few days you're not acting like my girlfriend!"

"So Audrey acting like one!?"

Tumahimik naman ito sa sinabi ko, ilang kilong luha na naman ang lumabas sa mata ko. I am expecting for his hug, I am expecting for him to beg and sorry.

"Get out Dela Vega!" Sigaw ko sa kanya at tinuro pa yung pinto.

"What do you want Elianna!?"

"Get out of my room and get out of my life!" Sigaw ko at lumabas at pumunta sa veranda, nilagay ko naman yung dalawang kamay ko sa mukha ko habang humahagolhol.

What happened to us, love?

"Here we go again, Elianna!" His fingers ran to his hair out of frustrations.

"I didn't gave you happiness, Keanu, leave now!" Umiiling pa ito habang nakatingin sa akin.

Me too, I can't believe. Hindi ito ito naisip na dadating kami sa ganitong punto, yung mawawalan ng anak, at mawawala din siya sa buhay ko.

Maybe Keanu and I aren't meant for each other.

"Bakit ba ganyan palagi ang iniisip mo Elianna!?"

"Dahil yan ang dapat Keanu! You should leave me! I can see how happy you are with Audrey!" He shook his head for disbelief.

"I want to find myself Keanu, just please. Let me go, I will let you go too" Napapaos na yung boses ko pero hindi pa din ito nagsasalita.

I just realized I am not worthy. I doubt, I mess up and I do shits. I should find myself first. Babalikan ko naman siya eh. Maybe, sa pag hanap ko sa sarili ko, dapat ako lang muna, kasi kapag andiyan siya masnasasaktan lang ako sa mga ginagawa niya.

I am selfish.

"We will together find you"

I shook my head and get his arm, I'm trying to pull him pero hindi ito nagpapatinag sa akin.

I am hurt a lot. More than a lot.

Why am I crying? I am sick of crying.

"Fine Elianna!" Nabigla ako sa sigaw ni Keanu, siya mismo yung kumuha ng kamay ko sa braso niya, tiningnan niya naman ako ng sobrang seryoso, napaiwas naman ako ng tingin sa kanya.

Kelangan ko muna hanapin ulit yung sarili ko, nasaktan na ako ng nawala yung magiging anak naman, plus my insecurities are ruining me.

"I'll give you space, Elianna but don't expect a break up from me! Audrey and you can be friends, Elianna! You can be yourself again! I am here! But you're being insecure again. Saang banda ba yung wala ko pa na fulfill at para magawa ko na ngayon!?"

Umiiwas lang ako sa kanyang mga titig. I know he's serious now. Wala namang masama kung hanapin ko yung sarili ko, at isa pa, kelangan niya ng pahinga sa mga pinanggagawa ko. Keanu don't deserve this kind of me.

"You keep on breaking me Elianna! Hindi lang ikaw ang nasasaktan!Nasasaktan din ako! Hindi lang ikaw nawalan, nawalan din ako!"

"Just fucking get out Keanu!" I burst out, he grin and shook his head in disbelief.

"I will get out on this fucking room, but not on your life" Lumakad naman ito at nilagpasan pa ako, naiwan pa yung bango niya. Napatakip na lang ako sa mukha ko.

Stupidity Elianna, that was stupid!