I do, I need you. #wattys2016

Back to Twelve.

I sit staring into Peeta's drawing. The lines he's drawn are so precise, made by his nimble fingers that are made for touching and making things perfect. My eyes are a seam gray color, my hair is the perfect dark brown. I stare in the mirror and then back at his drawing. It's so perfect it's astonishing, how can someone be so precise? He says it's from frosting cakes, but I've seen his room I've seen the beautiful things he drawn just by memory. How?

I sigh thinking about how someone like me, so broken and damaged managed to get someone like him. Perfect and innocent, peaceful and amazing.  Peeta never volunteered to be in this war. He was too innocent to be involved with this, my dandelion deserved so much better. It's my fault half of the population is dead and most of my friends have died.

I shake my head fast not daring myself to cry right now. I will not do it. I refuse to cry anymore over the past, I must focus on the future. When I finally get my bearings back, I walk from the bathroom. Blaine is all packed ready to head back to his Capitol home, he will take a car unlike the rest of us who must take trains. 

Peeta is waiting with Blaine when I make my way into the living room. "Are you ready?" He asks.

"Yes, I am."  I smile and hug Blaine for a long time. "Your strong, you can yet through it, it'll be hard at first. But you'll get through it, just busy yourself and try and forget." He nods and smiles at me.

"Thanks." He nods. "For everything."

"Of course." I avert his eyes not bearing to look in them in fear of the guilt showing on my face. Peeta hugs hugs him and we wait for him to get in his car and drive away.

Peeta takes my hand tight in his, we walk as one as we make our way into the train.  "I'm so ready to go home." He sighs as we sit on the couch.

"Me too." I snuggle into his side, my belly bump makes impossible to become close to him. Slowly more people board the train, our other mentors and victors. "Hey." I smile at them happy to not have to deal with the stressful games anymore.

"How's the boy?" Gale asks referencing Blaine.

"He'll be fine." Peeta says pulling me closer making room for Cressida to sit.

"I'm so glad we are all going back to twelve, I don't know what I'd do without you all." I smile at them. Guilt shows on their face and they look at Peeta then me. "What?"  I ask.

"W-We're going home Katniss. Try to move on with our lives." Gale says.

"B-But, your home is district twelve." I stutter looking for words.

"Cressida wants to go be with her family in her last trimester of pregnancy. It's the least I can do." He shrugs. I look to Effie and Haymitch.

"You guys are coming right?" I ask.

"Yeah dear." Effie says taking Haymitch's hand in hers. "We'll only be fifty feet away at all times." I nod.

Gradually I fall asleep on Peeta's shoulder, and I dream of a time when we don't have to live in fear. When we can have a nice life without worrying about Snow, or rebellion, or the hunger games.

When I wake only the people going to twelve and eleven are still on the train. So it's me, Peeta, Haymitch and Effie to twelve. And then Brutus and Ennobaria off to district eleven. Soon they exit and it leaves just us four. Peeta's hand loops around my neck and he feels my necklace I wear that he have me, well he found them both; the pearl necklace he made, and the locket. "Is this my locket?" He whispers into my hair.

"Yeah, I wear it all the time." I tell him happily. "Do you still have your bracelet Haymitch?" I ask him.

"N-No. I had given it to Finnick the day of the quarter quell. He's had it ever since, I thought one of you guys found it and kept it for me." He tells us.

"Annie got everything from his room and hers." Peeta tells us.

"You two should continue the medicine book of Katniss's father. Maybe add the people that passed in war that we knew." Haymitch says.

Peeta and I nod. "So what are you gonna do Effie? How are you gonna deal with the life away from the capitol?" I tease her.

"I don't know, but it'll be fine." She tightens her grip on Haymitch's hand and I smile.

"I'm happy for you two." I say. "I'm just expecting to see little ones running around soon." I say seriously.

"I could say the same about you two." She smiles back at us.

"Hey, I am pregnant. Remember? Your the one that's slacking." I tease.

"Oh Katniss." She sighs happily.

"We're a little old to be having children you know." Haymitch says like it's obvious.

"Well how old are you?" I ask him.

"Forty-four."  He says. "Alcohol does a hell of a thing on the body. That's why I'm done drinking."

We all clap quietly and quickly. "How about you Effie? You can't be a day over eighteen."

I smile at Peeta's comment. "No, actual I'm thirty seven." She blushes; and the only way I can tell is that she doesn't wear the insane Capitol makeup anymore. Her skin has a tan glow and she's beautiful, more beautiful then I ever imagined her to be.

"Oh you two can have kids. I expect them by next Christmas, it's January." I wiggle my eyebrow. "I'll shoot you both in the foot."

"We're here." Peeta cuts in the conversation and stands. He collects our bags and leads us from the train station.

"I need want anything to do with the games ever ever again." I tell them honestly.

"Me either, but they are already making a hall of fame for them. And if course your in it Katniss." Effie says.

"Tell them to take me out. Now. I don't want to ever be back in the Capitol again." I say gripping Peeta's hand.

The hob is completely reopened, Greasy Sae is back. Along with Ripper. The ash that was scattering the ground after the war was either blown away or shoveled out. While we were gone a large memorial was made to honor the dead of twelve. "Are we staying in your house or mine?" Peeta asks into my hair as we wait for Haymitch to buy game from Sae.

"Yours. I'm moving in there. Your paintings are there and you shouldn't have to move them."

We reach the village and we open the gage we closed on our way out. "Home sweet home." Peeta mutters before swinging it open. I give Haymitch and Effie a kiss on the cheek before we retreat into our house.

"Brr." I say hugging my sides. "It's so cold."

"Do you want to stock the wood stove and I'll start dinner?" He asks.

I nod and kiss him before stripping myself of my jacket knocking the extra labor will make me swear outside. I heave the axe into the air and chop the branches hard making them crack in half. I turn wiping my face and find Peeta watching me as I turn and return myself back to my work. I stack wood into my arms and Peeta comes rushing to help.

"How can you carry so much?" He asks out of breath.

"I've grown up doing this, some of us had to work for a living." I follow it with a laugh not trying to fight with him.

"Oh whatever." He grins as I load the wood stove with logs. I blow into my hands and rub them together in hopes of warming them up. "Come on." He smiles pulling me into the couch.

Together we lay on the couch, cuddle and warm each other. He looks me dead in the eyes. "From now on, we only worry about ourselves. It's just me and you."