I do, I need you. #wattys2016

Four Days.

The pounding on the bedroom door persists, I clasp my hands over my ears and continue to ignore it. Gently I rock myself in the corner of the room, repeating those words in my mine. Haymitch has cancer. Haymitch has cancer. How? We haven't even been gone a week? How could something so drastic change and happen so quickly?

I can't imagine loosing him. He's the closest thing I'll ever have to a father. He's a good man, with good intentions which where always to keep Peeta and I alive. He's been there for me through basically everything and is the only reason I'm alive. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he died and I did nothing to help him live. I owe it to him to keep him alive.

***

I push open the oak bedroom door, and wheel my packed suitcase behind me. "What are you doing?" Peeta asks jumping back a bit to avoid being hit by the door.

"We have to go home." I say not looking at him.

"Katniss-"

"No Peeta!" I snap. "I will not sit here and have a fun time on my honeymoon while that poor man-also on his honeymoon- finds out he has cancer. We don't know how much longer he has to live." I set my suitcase next to the door and collect all of my smaller things into a carry along bag I use. "I'm going home Peeta, with or without you."

"No, no." He sighs. "I'll come with you, just give me a few minuets." I nod, making yet another cup of coffee. When he's done, I make a final run through of the room checking to make sure we have everything. He leads me to the train where we wait ten minuets before a train arrives. He holds my hand tight as we are sandwiched between two older people.

We get off the train as quick as possible, my feet basically running to the victors village.

"I hope he's actually here." Peeta sighs trying to keep up with me. I notice his quick breathing and slow down subtly.

"He has cancer, I'm sure everyone will want to come see him. And everyone knows he lives in district twelve." I say.

Peeta hurries to open the gate, and takes the bags to the front door and let's them there on the snowy front steps. I wait for him and knock on Effie and Haymitch's door.  Effie answers it, her blonde hair in a messy pony tail above her head. "Katniss." She breaths instantly taking me into her arms. "You didn't have to come home." She says as she hugs Peeta.

"Yes I did." I nod. "Can I see him?"

"Of course, he's in the parlor." She nods in that direction. Peeta steps behind me in my footsteps, something I've taught him to do over the years to stay quiet in serious situations. I knock on the door.

"Come in." His strangled voice calls. I walk in, he's standing with a cane looking out of the window. His head and face are shadowed leaving me unable to see his features. "Eff, I'm fine. I promise." He says.

I clear my throat and his shadowed head turns to face us. "Oh Katniss, Peeta." He sighs. "Hello."

He takes a step from the window and I see him. His head shaved, skin shriveled making him look twenty years older then he is. "I've been gone a week." Is all I'm able to get out before walking to him and wrapping my arms around him. He hugs me back, both of our silent tear collecting on his robe. Peeta slips from the room, leaving us two alone.

"Let's sit down." He says, it sounds like a plead more than a suggestion. I nod and walk slowly behind him as he sits down on the couch.

"You can't die." I blurt. He chuckles, a smirk growing on his shriveled face.

"I don't plan on it." He shakes his head. "The doctors say I have a 75% chance of survival rate, that's good." He says.

"But their not sure you'll live, there's still the other twenty five percent." I whisper, the panic setting in. "I can't loose you. Your my dad." The tears well up in his eyes and he pulls me close, both of us just lying there holding each other. I look up at his face, it's so strange seeing him without hair. "Can I tell you a secret?" I whisper.

"Of course sweetheart." He smiles.

"I think I'm pregnant." His whole face lights up. "But don't tell Peeta, I'm not either. Ever. I'm going off to fight again, with the Right Arm."

"Please Katniss, you can't go." He says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because I'm still your mentor, I'm still your father. I'm still in charge." He smirks.

***

"Mommy sure did miss you." I gush kissing Rye's tiny forehead. "So did daddy." I whisper.

"What daddy didn't miss was having to wake up three times a night, and changing dirty diapers, and feeding a messy child." Peeta says from the counter where he's baking.

"But you still love him." I smile, looking back to Rye.

He's gotten so big, with help from Peeta or I he can stand on his chubby legs. His hair is growing out, turning from a light blonde color like Peeta's, to a darker color like mine.

Being a mother still doesn't seem real to me yet. Our lives, still so chaotic and spontaneous that at the drop of a hat Rye was dropped off at my mothers house. That's not being a mother, that's being a mother when I choose to be. And now I'm bringing another child into this world? While I'm preparing to run back into war and put my life and my unborn child's life in danger?

"That I do." He takes him from me and lays him in the downstairs crib.

"I'll be back, I need to make a few phone calls." I say quietly before walking upstairs with the cordless house phone. I dial Andler's number into the phone. "Hello." I say.

"Who's this?" A voice I recognize as Kenny asks.

"Katniss."

"One second." He says, I nod even though I know he can't see me. "Katniss." I hear Andler say on the other end of the receiver.

"Hi."

"Are you still in district four? We have some business to attend to." He says.

"Actually no, I'm not. My father just got diagnosed with cancer. So we came back to district twelve. I'm sorry." I say hoping he'll understand.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry to hear that. But... I hope that won't be changing you initial decision on coming with us?" He asks.

I reply with a chuckle. "Ill take that as a no."

"No, I'm gonna still help." I nod.

"Fantastic." Andler says, he seems to pronounce each of the letters as they come out. "How long do you want?" He asks.

"Four days, is that too soon?" I ask.

"Or course not, we have troops scattered everywhere in the nation."

"Perfect." I nod.

"But we can't speak of this over the phone, I'll see you in four days mockingjay."

"Four days." I reply before hanging up. I then dial the hospital's number. I make an appointment to make sure I'm actually pregnant, and I make an appointment to talk to a good doctor for Haymitch.

I walk back downstairs to find my two favorite boys playing on the floor. Rye's fingers wrap around Peeta's thick fingers, as he waddles on his feet. Peeta giggles kissing his nose and continues to play with him.

A stray tear falls down my cheek.

I'm really going to miss this.

Four days isn't enough.