[Book 2] Love has no limit.

sixty six; devil

Zac

I see darkness within me. The way it travels around my flesh and the way I think, the way I look at her like I wanna do something to her. Really bad.

But I stopped it. I stopped myself from believing that I want bad. To be bad. I stopped it because I want to be good. To be different. The way people think about me, it hurts like hell. The way I command them, the way I hurt their feelings... it terrifies me a lot.

That is not me. That is a monster, a devil that is trying to conquer within me. The bad things happen because of them. I know it, that is not me.

Because right now, I've changed.

Not for the worst but for the better.

But if I already changed for the better, why am I hurting? Why everybody that I love, hurt me?

Even her.

"Zacky!" Bigla kong rinig sa familiar na boses na matagal ko nang hindi naririnig.

I stand still and I'm still watching the stars above me.

"Hey." Hinawakan ako ni Troy sa shoulder ko at humarap ako sa kanya.

"Hey, bro." Bati ko sa kanya at nagsecret hand shake kami.

"Why now? Alam mo bang pinag-aalala mo kami?" Sabi ni Troy at I slightly smile.

"I just need to be myself for a while."

"A while? You mean six months." Sagot nito at tumawa na naman ako.

"Kamusta na? At ano nangyari sa kamay mo?" Tanong nito.

"Um... just a fight." Bumalik ako para tignan yung mga bituin.

"Nakipag-away ka na naman sa mga gangster. Really? Dapat sinama mo ako."

I chuckled, "Thanks by the way."

"For what?"

"For... taking care of her." Sagot ko.

Nanlaki mata niya.

"Kaibigan nga kita, alam kong gagawin mo yan." Ngiting sagot niya.

Talagang matagal na akong nagpadala ng spy kay Alexandra. After a week of our break-up... no, I don't wanna call that a break-up. Cool-off lang. Pwede na yun basta't hindi break-up.

I want her to be safe kaya, hindi ko mapigilan na magpadala ng spy kahit sa school na gladly, dun pa rin siya pumapasok.

"Hinanap ko siya ng apartment para sa susunod na school year. Ayaw niyang magdorm sa university."

"I know. She's smart and a fighter. Gusto lang niya talaga umiwas sakin." Sagot ko.

"Yeah, alam ko naman na mahal ka pa niya. Sa ngayon, napapansin ko, bitter siya." Tawang sagot ni Troy.

Napangiti ako. Why do I see myself smiling like I'm still in love with her? Why am I feeling that she still loves me too?

"Troy?"

"Yeah?" At nakatingin din siya sa mga bituin.

"Do you think, I should give-up on her?"

Tumingin siya sakin, "No. I know you love her. Just fight for it. Don't let it... go."

Ngumiti ulit ako at handa na ba ako para masaktan ulit kung sakaling paalisin niya ako? This is my first time to fall in love. This fucking hard. Siguro, dahil first time ko nga magmahal ng ganito... iba din ang impact ng sakit kapag nasaktan.

Mahal mo siya diba? Ipaglaban mo. Oo, ipaglalaban ko. Lahat ng darating na pagsubok sa amin. Ipaglalaban ko. Lahat ng sisira sa relasyon namen, wawasakin ko. Lahat ng makakaya ko, itrtry ko, para lang sa kanya.