The (not so) Sweet Serendipity

11.4.5

We may not celebrate every weeksary or monthsary but Richard sure does spoil me on our anniversaries. Looking back now, I don't even know which is my favourite. They were all special in their own way. We didn't celebrate it but it didn't matter what month it was for me, there was always something special on the 16th.

July 16, 2008 (Wednesday)

The first one, we actually celebrated with family. It was all fun and jokes during family dinner about the wedding and where we were going to live. Naman parents agad agad. It wasn't going to be in the city, there was no question we were going to settle here in our town, where we grew up and met. Our parents kept going on about it. Then we stopped when they mentioned about grandkids. Ang awkward lang please.

"We always knew you two were going to end up together! There was never a doubt in our hearts! When the time comes, we have something for the two of you."

This is what our parents would always say. Sweet talaga si Richard ever since, he never failed to show me (and the world) that he was happy to be with me. To be honest, ako na yung nahihiya kasi sobrang proud niya talaga na girlfriend niya ako and boyfriend ko siya. Ano kayang nakikita niya sakin? I would be worried sometimes that I wasn't enough for him or that he deserves to be with someone better, but he always knew what to say to make me believe otherwise. That was my problem from the start, I always believed Richard was too good for me.

July 16, 2009 (Thursday)

This one we celebrated on our own. In fairness to me, pinag-isipan ko talaga 'to at matagal tagal yung set up. I knew he had an event on our anniversary and I told him way in advance that I really couldn't make it. First time niya po magtampo. Ang hirap kasi kay Richard sobrang bait at sa sobrang understanding, kahit anong gawin ko okay lang sakanya. Pero this time, siguro kasi anniversary nga naman kasi namin, nagtampo siya talaga. Kahit na sabihin pa niya na okay lang daw, alam kong hindi. Sinasabi niya lang yun kasi ganun siya eh.

Dito ko rin medyo nakita yung effect ko sakanya. Hindi niya alam, maaga ako dumating sa event niya. Hindi niya alam na nandun ako the whole time, wala akong namiss, silently cheering for him.

May times na nga na hindi nako nakatiis at sinisigaw ko na pangalan niya tapos may one time na narinig niya, "GO CHARD!" tinatry niya kong hanapin sa audience, buti na lang mabilis reflexes ko. Sinabi pa niya sa mic out loud, "nababaliw na ata ako." Grabe tawa ko dito at pinigilan na talaga ang sarili ko kasi baka naman masira yung surprise, sayang effort ko.

Nung natapos na lahat, pinagtripan ko pa siya lalo. Hindi siya nagrereply sakin buong araw, silent treatment talaga. Si Val na lang ginawa kong messenger. "Babawi daw sa'yo si Maine bukas ah, huwag ka na raw magtampo."

"Ahh okay sige, thanks Val."

"Sabi pa niya na ang unfair daw kasi tampo ka na nga sakanya, pero gwapo ka pa rin daw."

Napatigil si Richard. Parang pinoprocess niya pero masyado na siyang napaasa ngayong gabi na ayaw na niyang mag-over think ng kung ano pa man. Tatawagan niya palang sana si Maine nang bigla..

"SURPRISE!!!!!"

.....

.....

Oh my god, umiyak siya, bakit siya umiiyak.

"Huy, sorry na. Andito nako oh, happy anniversary Chard!"

He went to me and embraced me lang, "I love you Meng. You have no idea how much you make me happy. Kakadating mo lang?"

Grabe, bawal pala pagtripan boyfriend ko, masyadong nagiging emotional, "I love you too. Hindi no, napanood ko lahat! Tara alis na tayo."

"Teka lang." Kung makayakap kala mo naman mawawala ako eh.

July 16, 2010 (Friday) - Who would have thought that this was going to be our last...

He surprised me after school. I "broke up" with him again for the nth time but here he was on our anniversary and we were okay again.

When I left I realised how much I hated LDR's, I missed him so much, too much I think that my insecurities get the best of me. Though I do keep reminding myself that I chose this, it's still really hard. I break up with him because I feel he deserves better and that he deserves someone that would choose to be closer to him.

But when we were together, nawawala lahat. I forget the struggle of being in a long distance relationship and we go back to normal.

Looking back now, I really did become too selfish. All I was thinking about was me me me, I didn't notice the sadness in his eyes too or the longing that he had. Chard was an emotional guy as well and tao rin naman siya, napapagod at napupuno. I guess I pushed him too far.

I don't exactly know how he was handling being in a long distance because he was always the positive one between the two of us, he was stronger and he would always try to make me feel better.

If only I knew that that would be our last anniversary celebration, I should've told him how much I loved him and how much he really meant to me and how much I really do appreciate him and how much I didn't want to lose him. I should've been more open to him and explained why I kept on "breaking up" with him. So many things I wished I did but I didn't because I was selfish.

Ewan ko ba kung anong nakain ko, bat bako nakikipag-break dito. Napagod tuloy sakin. So it's my turn now to wait for him and this is what I'm doing.

My tears are starting to well up again. I really miss you, Chard. Give me one chance lang, I promise to be better. I will love you better; the way you deserve to be loved.

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Para naman may konteng background sa love story nila. 

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Nawatch niyo ba EB earlier? #ALDUBMaineCelebration

Imagine You and Me in theatres on July 13! No to spoilers!