The (not so) Sweet Serendipity

22.4

Tumayo rin ako. "O, sige nga. Kiss me. Para matapos na."

"Okay then." He held my face and started to lean in for a kiss. Tangina, gagawin nga ni gago. Then I pushed him away.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I said while pushing his face away from mine.

"You just told me to kiss you."

"You're unbelievable." I turned my back to him.

He grabbed my arm and made me face him again. "Bakit, di mo kaya? May feelings ka no? Andito nako, o. Ano pa ba gusto mong sabihin ko? I love you, Meng."

Okay, I think this is getting out of hand. This nonsense has to stop. "And what? I'm supposed to say I love you too? Tapos ano, balik tayo high school? Yun ba?" I stopped and made that sink in to him. "You really have to go now." Medyo serious nako, kasi nag gagaguhan na kami rito. Bago pa matapos 'to sa hindi maganda. "I really think you shoud go now."

"Meng, please." He started to kneel and beg me. "Please. Let me. Just let me love you."

I tried to force him to get up. "Chard, tumayo ka nga diyan. Bakit ka ba nagkakaganyan?" He still doesn't get up. I sighed and tried again. "Chard! Ayos na kasi. Tayo na diyan."

"Just give me a chance. Please."

"Tumayo ka muna para makapag usap tayo." Seriously getting really impatient with this nonsense. He slowly got up. He was crying now. I wiped his tears away with my hands. Hay ganito ba talaga pag ikakasal, nagkaka nervouse breakdowns.

"Bakit ka umiiyak? Alam mo pag babae ka, iisipin kong PMS ka eh."

"I can't lose you again."

"What are you saying?" Sobrang hindi ko na alam san nanggagaling ang lahat ng 'to.

"Bakit ba mas pinaniniwalaan mo ibang tao kesa sakin?"

i didn't answer his question. Instead, I tried to make him understand again.

"You know what, I think you're thinking too much of the what ifs and what could have beens in your life. I guess that's what weddings do to most people." He was about to answer back and object again, but I stopped him and kept going, "Just go to her and talk about it. I'm sure you'll feel better and think to yourself why you didn't just go to her sooner." I smiled at him and looked in his eyes to see if he was absorbing this. I get nothing to be honest. I don't know what he's thinking.

He sits back down, "So you want me to marry Louise?"

"It's a decision you made. Not mine."

"But I'm asking you now. Do you want me to marry her?"

"I don't see why this is relevant. At all."

"Answer it."

Para matapos na ang usapang 'to, I could have easily said yes. But I, myself, didn't know the answer to his question and honestly didn't see how my answer would matter.

Hindi niya ko tinigilan, "Yes or no?"

"That has nothing to do with this."

"You're not answering it and I think we both know why."

"Well, you know what. Actually, yes I do want you to marry her. You know why? Because I think at least one of us deserves to be happy. Is that what you want to hear? Masaya ka na?"

His look softened and when he was about to say something. His phone rang. Thank god. Tangina thank you, timing. Whoever was calling him is such a life saver. His eyes never looked away from me though even as he answered his phone.

"Hello ma?" He's still looking at me, so I just look at him too. Paano kaya ako gagaling kung iba iba dumadating dito sa bahay, na may kanya kanyang version ng mga nangyayari. Itong isa pa, mega throwback. "Andito pa po kila Meng." Hinawakan niya bigla forehead ko. "Wala naman pong fever na. Wala po siyang kasama eh. Po? Bakit siya nandiyan?" Umiwas na siya ng tingin, at naglakad palayo sakin. I leaned back in the sofa and closed my eyes to somehow relax myself. I am seriously getting tired. Hindi ko na rin marinig si Richard. Hay salamat, baka hinahanap na siya ni Louise.

I have more or less two and half weeks before mag reunion, magaling nako nun sigurado. Para naman ma enjoy ko, once in more than ten years lang 'to eh, tapos may sakit pa ko. Why do I have to be sick now? I think I need a drink or two.

Hindi ko alam pero naisip ko si Kenneth. Pero baka gulo lang yun pag dumating si Kenneth dito, pero kasi hindi ko pwede tawagan si Val kasi malalaman niya yung about sa proposal, secret nga daw muna diba. Hindi ko na kaya maiwan mag isa kasama si Richard.

Lakas rin ng trip neto eh, after all these years ngayon niya pa balak halungkatin ang nakaraan. Nakakaloka. Ayoko naman mag feeling pero, I know I was his biggest what if and what could have been. Pero ganun rin naman siya sakin eh. Quits lang.

I was too deep in my thoughts that I didn't even hear Richard. "Menggay? Okay ka lang? Masakit ba ulo mo?" Gusto ko sabihin oo, masakit ulo ko pero hindi dahil sa sakit ko. But I just opened my eyes and said, "Okay lang ako. Kailangan mo na umalis? Hatid na kita." I stood up to walk him to the door.

"Oo eh, pero babalik ako. Alam ko naman hindi pa makakabalik sila tita, mahirap na yung wala kang kasama."

"Hindi, huwag na, okay lang ako. Dumadaan naman sila Kenneth tsaka Valeen from time to time to check up on me."

"So? Pupuntahan pa rin kita."

"Chard, hindi na talaga kailangan."

"No, it's my fault kaya ka nagkasakit, so I will take care of you. I will be back as soon as I can later. Nothing you will say will stop me." He then went towards me and kissed me in the forehead. "I'm serious, aayusin ko 'to, everything I said kanina was the truth. We are meant to be together. I'm ready to show you everyday how much I regret choosing not to be with you." And then he left.

Nakakapagod siya kausap. Now, I really need Kenneth and Valeen here. I don't care kung malaman ni Val about the proposal, I really need her here too.

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Thanks for reading! Hope you're liking it! 

Next update will be Sunday night. I am going away and I will have no internet connection in the coming days. Sorry for the long wait. Be back soon!