memoir(^○^)

lxxii. differences

There's a big difference between loving someone and liking someone. You can like them and didn't love them; but you can't love them and didn't like them. I think the same goes for us. I like you. I really do. You're remind me of winter—that feeling when you're surrounded by warm blanket and hot chocolate in the middle of a storm so the only thing you could feel is the fire of happiness lighting in your skin. You remind me of autumn—when the leaves fall down and suddenly the world did not seem so lonely anymore because they're everywhere around you, leaving beautiful traces of it's fragile brown-self in your hand. You remind me of spring—and all the flowers that bloom in the middle of central park while the children laugh and play and run aimlessly . And of course, dear, you remind me of summer—the way the sun melts down my orange popsicle while I'm taking a big step towards home.

But you see, you did not remind of butterflies—and how you feel them fighting spaces in your stomach when you accidently brush your hand with some strangers in the train. You did not remind me of rain—and how the smell of it is enough to make me stand in the middle of the street, all wet, soak from head to toe, just to inhale the scent. You did not remind me of fireworks—and how it sparks brightly in the night sky at the 4th of july, making people scream and cry in excitement. But mostly, you did not remind me of black coffee—and it's bitter taste, and how when you don't keep it hot it all goes to waste, you lose it, all of it, a cup full of things you once wanted.

So there's a big gap; between liking and loving.

I like you, once, twice, I like you way thousand times before you even like me.

But I didn't love you;

and how do I know that?

Just like the black coffee—when it gets hard, you're not the one who wants to make me fight, when it gets hard, all I wanna do is run away.

I'm sorry.

—    i wish i could do better but when its 2 am you're not the one i want to wrap up my arms around and i know i should do something, but i can't dictate my feelings.