mental illness is not something that you can cure. at times, you can control it but it will never really leave. it will forever be there, waiting for triggers before it wraps you all over again with sadness and grief.
the worst thing about it is when you actually start to feel better, when you really think that you can control it, it wash you off like the ocean wet the shore. you want to stop the overflowing feelings but you just can't because the feels control you and you're dying not to drown. you scratch the ground, trying so damn hard to stand still, but all the efforts will forever be useless in the end because the swinging mood and desperate feelings, they take over your conscious over and over again.
and so you will never fully heal,
you will never be the you that you used to be though you might feel better at times.
it's still there, lying under your skin, waiting for the right time to pull you to right the centre of the storm.
and so,
since it will never fully go away--
i will forever be an emotional wreck.
-- do not glorify mental illness as something beautiful because it's not & please stop using the word 'depressed' or 'anxiety' or 'bipolar' so lightly since you might not know what the people who actually feel those things for real have been going through.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
memoir(^○^)
Randomand i'll give away a thousand days just to have another one with you. (a scribbled down wound of a pessimistic seventeen).
