Keeping You

One

I've decided to post the first chapter to celebrate my 4K followers on my Tumblr I co-own with my bestie. (siiickstyles I tumblr) Some chapters won't be very long bc I've been writing the whole thing on my phone. Sorry. Enjoy!

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I used spend my nights and days crying. I used to feel such hatred towards everyone around me. I used to feel sorry for myself but now. Now, I just feel numb. It’s like I’ve almost literally ran out of tears. My eyes have run dry. I spent so much time balling my eyes out, that now nothing happens. I don’t even have happy emotions either. I don’t feel love for anyone but my mom. I don’t smile unless it’s forced. I don’t deserve to be happy anyway.

I know that I'm nothing and shit. I don't care anymore. People can call me names and pick on me all they want but I no longer show them it affects me.

I thought maybe that's why they did it to get a rise out of me, to get that reaction of pain. I decided to be finished with myself loathing. I decided that maybe if I stopped showing them try we're hurting me and just ignored them, they'll stop.

Well I was wrong. It just turned into a game for them. ‘See who can get Opal Oscar to crack first.’

Each day of school had something new happening. I got to the point where I shouldn't be surprised if I were to get book checked or tripped down the stairs. No matter what any of the school faculty did, kids wouldn't stop. Also, they said there was no proof as to who was in on everything that was done to me. It was suggested that I change schools but I didn't want to do that. I would look like a coward.

I'd much rather finish my last year of high school and move on from there. I didn't want to go to a new school and have more people think I'm a freak and more people stare at me. I just want to get through. That's all. I just want to get by.

My mom is never around. She works a lot to pay bills and buy food. My dad passed away from a heart attack before I was even born. I take the bus two towns over to work at a hardware store. I work there so I can actually do a job without someone I know trying to harass me. Two towns over, I feel out of the radar but I still don't let anyone in.

The first day of school. The last first day of getting tortured. At least at school that is.

Of course they find me when I'm not in my house. I can't even go to my favorite diner anymore. There is always someone there. I can’t go anywhere in town without getting an insult spit at me. People are horrible and I now just try to keep walking. They don’t deserve to see my tears anymore.

I woke up early. Going through the regular routine of showering, brushing my teeth, putting on my jeans and big sweater. I hadn't had much of a style but even if I did it would be no use.

I picked up my phone and keys. I checked to see if my mom was home or not and not to my surprise she wasn't. Double shift I presume. I locked the door to our small apartment on my way out. I put my headphones on and walked down to the bus stop. The school bus pulled up and I sat in front, avoiding the stares from the others.

When we pulled up I was the first to get off, heading straight for the doors of the school. My locker was on the far end of the school so I pushed past everyone to put my notebooks away.

I grabbed what I believed I needed before lunch and made it to my homeroom.

"Hey Opal, welcome back!" Sharron snarled.

She's always been the worst. I've never figured out what I did to make people hate me so much but I know she hated me the most.

I ignored her and sat in a seat towards the back.