Destroying A Fairytale

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Parusa

-Shanela-

My tears automatically fall at his statements.

Bahagya siyang nagulat ng makita ang naging reaksyon ko. Doon bumalik sa isipan ko ang lahat ng mga naging kasalanan niya sa akin, especially those terrible nights that I had with him. I know to myself that I've been unconsciously waiting for this day to come. Ang araw na pagbabayaran niya ang mga nagawa niya sa akin.

Pero bakit ngayong nandito na ang pinakagusto kong mangyari ay parang mas lalo lang akong nasasaktan. The thought of him inside the jail for years breaks my heart so much. Na parang kahit tila inaantay ko ang araw na 'to ay lihim ko ring pinagdadasal na sana ay hindi na lang dumating ang araw na ito.

"Shanela," his voice sounded so broken.

"Why do you need to do this?" tuluyang nabasag ang boses ko.

"Because I want to face the consequences of hurting you," his eyes were bloodshot and tired. Tila matagal na niya itong pinaghandaan at heto na ang pagsuko niya. "Please, let me pay for what I did to you..." he pleaded.

"Pa-paano ako? Paano kami?"

His hand gently touched my face and wiped all my tears. Pero sa halip na tumigil ako sa pag-iyak ay mas lalo lang lumabas ang mga luha ko.

"Our son will become a good child just like you," marahang sambit niya.

"Paano ka?"

"Ang makita kang makamit ang hustisyang nararapat para sa'yo, masaya na ako doon. Mananatili ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo kahit anong mangyari, kahit malayo ka sa akin. I can deal with that pain... if this can make you happy."

"Iiwanan mo rin ako?" I sobbed. "You promise me that you'll never leave!"

"I'm not leaving you, Shanela. I am always with you. My heart is always with you."

Bumagsak ang mga mata ko sa sahig habang marahang umiiling. "Hindi ka magiging masaya. You'll suffer there for years..." mahinang sambit ko.

"I'll suffer because I made you suffer, Shanela. Remember," he held my chin to make me face him. He took a deep breath as he looked at me gently on my eyes. "Sinaktan kita ng sobra. I destroyed you, your innocence... your heart, your everything." naging mabigat at unti-unting humina ang boses niya.

"I destroyed everything, Shanela. That night when I harshly took you, I should've known that everything will never be the same again. Kung alam ko lang na ganito mangyayari, dapat nag-dalawang isip ako. Dapat hindi ko ginawa." punong-puno ng pagsising sabi niya.

Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko. Those nights were my worst nightmares. I tried my best to look at him even if he's kinda blury because of my tears. I tried to look for that man who raped and hurt me... but I don't see him anymore. All I see is a man who's very lonely and in need of a family. Someone who's looking for love.

"Please..." I sobbed as I bit my lower lip. "Don't do this..." mahinang dugtong ko.

His mouth slightly opened and a tear fell from his eyes.

"Don't make this hard for me, baby..."

"Bakit mo pa gagawin 'to, Vince? This will only complicate everything! Mas mahihirapan ka doon! You'll be locked there for years! You'll regret this in the future..." I argued. Truth is, I'm a bit confuse if I should let him go to jail or to convince him to stop his plans.

"I want you to love me," he softly said. "But I know you'll not going to love me because of what I did to you. I raped you and that's the reality that we both can't hide! Alam ko na hindi mo pa rin ako napapatawad hanggang ngayon. So how can I ask you to love me if you can't even forgive me?" aniya at agad niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko.