Thank you for the 20k reads 😍😘
Nikka's POV
"Hi Baby Jacob. Happy Birthday in Heaven darling." I smiled at my child's grave and put the basket of flower on his grave.
It had been 20 years pero hindi ko malimutan ang sakit ng pagkawala nya. Jacob will always be my first child. He's the one who let me had my firsts and yes, not having him around is still my greatest heartache.
"How are you my angel? Are you with Papang?" I asked as I lit the candle
My heart can't contain my pain so my tears started falling. Mula nang malaman ko ang lahat kung bakit nagkaganito ang anak ko, everything that deals with him makes me cry. It's still a fact I can't accept. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I find myself still crying for his loss.
I still remember that day I first and last saw him. How I touched his soft but cold skin. How his blue pale colored body was covered with white cloth. His closed eyes that I really wanted to see. And his voice I never heard.
"My son. Siguro you're already annoyed kasi Mommy keeps calling you baby." I sighed as i caress his name
Hindi ko alam kung ganito rin ang pakiramdam ng kagaya kong mga ina na nakunan. Hindi ko alam kung kagaya ko silang hanggang kamatayan na yatang magluluksa sa pagkawala ng mga parte ng puso nila. Kagaya ko rin kaya silang naiisip pa rin ang mga sanggol na agad naging anghel?
People around me ask me to move on. Yes, I'ved moved on but I can never forget, hindi ko kayang tanggalin na lamang sa aking isipan ang aking anak. It is just so painful for a mother not to hold her baby in her arms because the only resort you're going to have is just carry him forever in your heart. Just like how I still carry him inside my heart.
"You are crying again Sweeetheart, son, look at your beautiful Mom, she's trying to make a river of tears again." My husband came and hugged me
"I wonder sweetheart, if he did not went to heaven so soon, what would he look like? Will he look like you? At this time, if he did not left early baka nanliligaw na rin ang batang yun. I always wonder how will he be a big brother to his siblings. I wonder if he'll also be a mama's boy. Will he be a singer? or a dancer? or a varsity? It's still painful sweetheart." sabi ko
And my husband just hugged me tighter. Alam kong kahit ano pa mang mangyari, pareho kaming mangungulila sa panganay namin. Our relationship may have been shaken but because of the love we've shared, we stayed strong and firm.
Napatigil lang ako sa pag-iyak dahil dumating na ang iba pa naming anak na malayo pa lamang ay naririnig na namin.
"Hi Kuya!!!!! Apeee beltdey!!" matinis na sigaw ng bunso namin nang ibaba nya ang drawing nyang birthday card
"Birthday yun kulit. Hindi Beltdey!" Saway ni Akim kay Annika
"Kuya! Niaaway ako ni Akim!! Bad sya!! Pangit sya!!! Palo mo sya!" Annika said
"Ikaw ang bad, magagalit sayo si Kuya Jacob kasi hindi ka nagkukuya samin ni Kuya Matti." sagot naman ni Akim
"Hindi kasi kayo good boy kaya hindi ako makukuya sa inyo ni Matti na pangit!" Annika yells at her brother
"Oi kulit, kung pangit ako, pangit ka din kasi ako kamukha mo! yak! pangit!!!!" Matti teased Annika
"Kuya Luke!!!! Niaaway ako nung mga pangit!" Sumbong ni Annika kay Lukas
Luke being the kindest he is, scoop his brat sister and carry her. Pero itong bunso namin ay may sa tuso at patuloy na nagmamakeface sa mga kuya nya.
