Hello anyone who happened to be snooping and found my book! My names Puff, and this is my rant book.
I honestly just talk about whatever I feel like, which I'm fairly sure is the purpose of rant books in general.
Anyway, if you would like to continu...
Anyway, I'm so happy! Last night, I GOT MUFFINS. I'm a huge fan of this one stores chocolate chip muffins, and I got them last night! Yay!!!!
So back on topic, I had a weird dream last night. It went like this:
Once upon a time, I had a pet snail. And I just happened to be a Yellow Sea sponge who lived in a pineapple under the sea.
Then, I got a strange package through the mail. Apparently, it was suicide pills for my pet snail. My snail really thought they looked yummy. I didn't want my pet to die.
So I searched to the ends o the Earth for a hiding spot. I ended up on this weird secluded island thingy, that had a dinosaur infestation problem.
I was talking to some southern cowboy dude, when the dinosaurs attacked! I'm not sure why we were scared. They were herbivores.
Anyway, everyone started running. And then we couldn't find the key to open the gate. I said I had something better, it was a drawing of a key.
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The southern dude was not impressed.
Then, where the key slot was, there was a weird pressure plate thingy, that, with enough prying, would be the perfect size for the suicide pill box. I placed the bow in, and with some shoving it sunk into the pressure plate.
I was happy because my snail couldn't commit suicide.
But then this Squirrel lady, who just happened to look like this:
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showed up and said that I had screwed us all. She said that if you put anything on the plate, then the island would tear away from all of the land beside it. (Which now I believe makes no sense, cause it's an island. It's not like you can pull away from any landforms.)
Now the dinosaurs were right behind us, so we all starting running the other direction underneath the dinosaurs bellies. I yelled, 'I'm so changeable!'
Anyway, then we got to the other side of the island, and then we started throwing snowballs at each other, and breaking into water-parks. Then Squirrel lady said the suicide pills wouldn't actually harm animals, it was just used to kill food so you could eat it. (Which, again makes no sense, because more than likely the food is an animal.) Regardless, after that I was happy my snail wouldn't die, and then I woke up.
Wasn't that a great story? I'm reality, it had very low atmospheric pressure.
