Klance oneshots

Pidge

This story is based on a bunch on headcanons and I died from laughter okay

Pidge lied on her side, moaning from pain. She was on her period and wanted to kill everything. She glared at the wall. Keith walked into the room and sat cross-legged from her. She appreciated the company. Mainly because Keith wasn't talking. That was nice. 

Lance walked into Pidge moaning on the couch and Keith sitting across from her. Of course, you can imagine how confused he was. He sat next to Keith.

"What up with her?" Lance asked as he pointed to Pidge. Keith shrugged.

"She's in pain," Keith said. Lance tilted his head.

"Why? Did she eat Coran's cooking?" He asked. 

"I'm on my fucking period  you bitch." Pidge moaned. Lance made an 'o' shape with his mouth. He decided maybe she wouldn't want his company right now, so he left the room. 

Pidge and Keith continued sitting in silence. 

Allura ran into the room with a smile on her face.

"Pidge! I heard you were on your period! I have a few questions if you don't mind. I've been fascinated on the subject of human menstrual cycles recently and I want to see how accurate to Altean menstrual cycles they are!" She excitedly said. Pidge and Keith shared a look and they both knew what to do. 

"Allura, I don't mean to be rude, but leave. I'm in so much pain right now." Pidge said. Allura slightly frowned. 

"Okay, I'll come back later!" She said. She ran out of the room.

Lance was wondering around the castle when he saw Shiro reading a book. 

"Did you hear that Pidge is on her period?" Lance asked. Shiro sighed and didn't look up from his book.

"Yes, Lance." He said. 

"Man, that must suck. She's in a lot of pain right now. At least my sisters had pain killers, but up here, Pidge has nothing. My sister once said that her cramps felt like someone scraping inside her stomach with a pitchfork." Lance said. Shiro glanced up at lance from his book. 

"Lance, if you don't mind, I would really rather not think about Pidge's bleeding uterus," Shiro said. Lance awkwardly smiled and finger-gunned his way out of the room. 

Lance walked around for a little bit before stopping and thinking to himself I'm gonna go entertain her. He ran to his room and looked for his backpack. Thankfully, it was well stocked with things from earth.

Lance sneaked into the room where Keith and Pidge were hanging out. Keith was now sitting on the couch like a normal human being and Pidge was leaning her back against the arm rest. 

Lance crawled behind the couch, careful that Keith doesn't see him. 

Pidge was looking at the ceiling when suddenly, she saw Lance's head slowly rise up from behind the couch. He narrows his eyes at Keith. Pidge doesn't say anything. 

Lance slowly shows Pidge the feather in his hands. He tickled Keith's earlobe with it for a few seconds before diving back behind the couch. Keith scratched his ear and turned around, but didn't see anyone.

Lance's head appears again, and he gave Keith bunny ears. Pidge coughed to hide a laugh. Lance sinks back down again and rises back up with an air horn in his hand. He raises his eyebrows for Pidge and she nods her head slightly. Lance smiles and holds up his free hands counting down from three with his fingers.

Three.

Two.

Pidge covers her ears.

One.

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARM

Keith fell jumped to his feet and fell backwards, landing on Lance from behind the couch, who was laughing like a maniac. 

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Keith yelled. Lance stood up, dropping Keith and started to run, but Keith grabbed Lance's ankle, causing him to fall. 

Pidge was dying from laughter while Keith and Lance were tackling each other. Real tears were forming in her eyes.

Hunk poked his head from behind the wall and decided to pretend he never saw what he clearly just saw. 

Three updates in one day? More likely than you think. 

Seriously, though. I'm so fucking bored right now.  There might even be another update.